Changing Your Perspective On Life | Ep. 55 with Scott Lowder
Dreams, talents, and passions are all amazing things that are instilled within us. However, they are temporary. This intense truth was especially the reality for Scott Lowder, a man training to be an Olympic diver, whose life changed forever after one crucial moment…
We gravitate to having an outline of how our lives are going to turn out, or where we will end up. Oftentimes, we come with the expectation that everything will happen just the way we had envisioned. But what if that wasn’t the plan after all? What if God had a different outcome in mind for you to utilize your gifts and passions for a greater overall purpose?
You really won’t want to miss this week’s guest on the No Grey Areas podcast, Scott Lowder, and his captivating story of how he rose above his circumstances when his world went dark. His hopeful perspective on life is a refreshing, yet enlightening message that all of us desperately need to hear.
The NO GREY AREAS platform is about the power, importance, and complexity of choices. We host motivating and informative interviews with captivating guests from all walks of life about learning and growing through our good and bad choices.
The purpose behind it all derives from the cautionary tale of Joseph N. Gagliano and one of sports’ greatest scandals.
To know more about the true story of Joe Gagliano, check out the link below!
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Transcript
Speaker 1
Why would someone who had an accident that left them a quadriplegic say that that day, the day of the accident, saved their life? Special guest this week is Scott Lauter. He has an amazing story. Listen in. Now.
::Speaker 1
Well, Scott Lauter, thank you so much for joining us on the No Gray Areas podcast. Most of our listeners actually watch online, but for those that are just listening to an audio platform, you've got to help them out a little bit. You're not sitting in the same kind of chair that I am. So. So explain that for those listening and not watching.
::Speaker 2
Well, first of all, pleasure to be here. Thank you for having me. And yes, for those of you that are just listening, I'm definitely in a different type of chair. I'm a C full quadriplegic, which means and basically can't really move or feel from the shoulders down.
::Speaker 1
Wow. Okay. Now we're going to get to that story in a moment because it is an amazing, amazing, powerful story and a story that even though most of us can't resonate or understand what it's like to be where you are, we all have things that we have to overcome issues, disappointments, discouragement. And your story really speaks into that.
::Speaker 1
So I'm really excited about that. But let me back up a little bit and get a little background on you. Okay. We got the audience there interested. They're not going to stay with us now. Where are you from originally, Scott?
::Speaker 2
Originally, I'm from the Central Valley in California. Okay. Little town Promenade, just north of Fresno. Okay. So a little farming town? Yeah.
::Speaker 1
ht. This injury took place in: ::Speaker 2
That's correct, Yes.
::Speaker 1
And actually, I'm jumping ahead a little bit in the story. But what's interesting is July 6th, right?
::Speaker 2
Yeah, that's it.
::Speaker 1
This is what's so interesting. When you told me that two days ago when we were on the phone and you told me that date, that's our anniversary. My my wife and I, that's our anniversary. I was thinking back on the day that my wife and I were celebrating our ninth anniversary, I had no idea that somewhere else in this world, someone was going through an event that was going to change your life forever.
::Speaker 1
And that happens every moment of every day, somewhere, something like that. Correct. Okay. So you grow up in here in California, but you were one of the top athletes in the country in diving. In fact, you were ranked number one.
::Speaker 2
en really working towards the: ::Speaker 1
Well, Scott, here's the interesting thing, though. Most of us or a lot of us, when we were little, we all dreamed of being the Olympics. But you're at 20 years old. It's not just a pipe dream. It's not. I mean, you're ranked number one, like you have a legitimate shot at making the Olympic team.
::Speaker 2
I did. Yes, I did. Yeah.
::Speaker 1
So when did you start diving or where did that come come out of Did you were you in gymnastics early on in life or.
::Speaker 2
Yeah, I was really athletic, really busy kids. So my mom put me in every sport. There was. Yeah. Yeah. To try to, you know.
::Speaker 1
Yeah. Figure out where you were going to fit in and, well.
::Speaker 2
Drain, drain my energy. Yeah. Oh, she's a busy kid, man.
::Speaker 1
Yeah. So she needed to try to tire you out every day so you'd go to sleep. Wow. Okay. Was there a sport like, early on that you loved specifically?
::Speaker 2
I was. I loved soccer. Still going to soccer? I did gymnastics when I was really little enjoyed. Well, enjoy the trampoline. And, yeah, I enjoyed acrobatics, flips and.
::Speaker 1
Well, that's what I was thinking. Yeah, right. Assuming that. Yeah.
::Speaker 2
But I also, in the summertime, loved swimming and I loved girls. Yeah, I've seen girls, you know. Yeah. Just like, cute. Yeah. And then in bathing suit so the sport could potentially.
::Speaker 1
That's in a pool, right?
::Speaker 2
Yeah. And the sport diving. I do like it too. Each summer class. Yeah. One summer, I think. The summer before, like, high school.
::Speaker 1
Okay, so you're like, in eighth grade going into your high school years, You go to a camp. You never done diving before that time? No. And you do a two week diving. And did you did you see recognize you were very proficient at this right away?
::Speaker 2
I mean, I did I was just out there having fun. But the coach noticed real fast and talked to my mom and said, you probably want to get him into real more serious classes. Yeah. So that's why we went and.
::Speaker 1
Yeah, yeah. Now we call this podcast No Gray area, so there's no lying here. Did you go to that camp to just check out the girls, or were you actually interested in diving?
::Speaker 2
I was interested in both. Okay. The priority. Probably the girls first.
::Speaker 1
Yeah. Okay. Makes sense. Makes sense. So. So you're going into high school. You go to this camp, your coach is noticing that you're actually really proficient. You're good at this. So where do you go from there? Did you start diving then? Right away? Going to classes on this, I mean, is not a school sport, right? Or is it in California.
::Speaker 2
At the time? Yes, it was a high school sport. They kind of mixed swimming and diving together. Yeah. So the divers are kind of like the kickers of the football team.
::Speaker 1
Yeah. Yeah. Which everybody. Yeah. The high school. You're kind of like you're the kicker. But then later on, people are like, you're the smart one. Yeah.
::Speaker 2
Yeah. Well, and also, I mean, it's entertaining. You get out there and everyone in the pool, you throw some crazy dives going, people see that in the Olympics? Yeah.
::Speaker 1
Yeah.
::Speaker 2
All the high school girls are watching. Yeah. From the other team, too. Yeah.
::Speaker 1
Well, you know, and comparing it to the kicker, football is actually pretty good, I suspect, because the kickers, the game a lot of times falls in their hand. And I suspect that that takes a tremendous amount of focus and diving like it would as a kicker. Like you got to try to clear out all the noise that's going on in your head.
::Speaker 1
Am I right? Like when you walk out on that, the diving board, I suspect there has to be a tremendous amount of focus to make it to the level that you did. Yeah.
::Speaker 2
And I'm like, especially in like high school and things, you have basically the swimming is going on at the same time as diving. So you have all that commotion. Yeah. Even, you know, some pools, you're looking out and you're seeing people swimming back and forth. So yeah, you have to learn to not a Yeah, it's just blocking along.
::Speaker 1
th,: ::Speaker 1
Right. So explain that a little bit.
::Speaker 2
So, I mean, at that time I was not a superstar, but I kind of felt like in a little bit big, big school. UC Davis, I think at that time of the thing. 25,000 yeah. Student under under undergrad and basically everyone knew who I was. Yeah, my teachers knew who I was. They let me slide with, with classes.
::Speaker 2
Yeah. You know, just girls. All the girls interested always talking to me. Yeah. Yeah, it was. Yeah. And everyone you want to be the popular one. You want to be the one everyone's interested in. The one everyone wants to know.
::Speaker 1
And that's what you had.
::Speaker 2
That's what I had.
::Speaker 1
you go to practice July six,: ::Speaker 2
So basically, it was a summertime. Is it unique situation? My my UC Davis coach she coached with the UC Berkeley coach like a club diving team of all ages and they both coached that club team and Walnut Creek, which was about a little over an hour drive from UC Davis in the East Bay of California. Anyway, she wasn't going to be able to make it that day, and she'd asked me to cover her young kids coaching classes in the morning to coach little kids.
::Speaker 2
And in the afternoon I would practice with the Berkeley coach for like 3 hours, which great, no problem. So I went down there, coach the kids and everything was going fine, started doing my practice and about 30 minutes in as I'm coming off the diving board, I up in the air, I up in the air, probably about five meters and I see a drone right below me in a red swimsuit.
::Speaker 1
And you're in the middle of your dive.
::Speaker 2
Yeah, I'm high up in the air. Yeah.
::Speaker 1
And that's 15, about 15 feet for all the Americans that can't do the metric system. Okay? Right. Yes.
::Speaker 2
Yeah. And there's really nothing I can do, and I've got about half a second to react.
::Speaker 1
So there's this. When you think back on it, does it kind of go slow or was it going in slow motion at the time or was it everything was just a split second like it actually happened?
::Speaker 2
I mean, I've gone back over it a billion times when, my love, what could I have done differently when you know, just anything? And I mean, you just you don't have time to react. Yeah. Yeah. You know, it's it's like, what are you doing in a car accident? Yeah. High speed car accident? Yeah. Kind of. Turn your face.
::Speaker 2
Yeah. So that's about all I did.
::Speaker 1
You and you're coming down into a dive.
::Speaker 2
Right? Headfirst. And so, yeah, I ended up landing on her hip headfirst, instantly breaking my neck and the fourth vertebrae down. And so I hit her. Everything went black and white for a split second, but I was conscious in the pool, and we're trained to go into the water and then do like a somersault under the water to help, you know, reduce the splash.
::Speaker 2
And so out of years of habit of doing that, I got used to just blowing out of my nose to keep from getting water up your nose. And so, you know, I'm probably five, nine, five, ten at this time, £185 almost all in the water, sinking like a rock. So the 16 foot deep pool sinking like a rock blowing out of my nose trying to swim and nothing's happening.
::Speaker 1
Nothing's working.
::Speaker 2
And it's just calm, surreal, peaceful, just watching air bubbles blow out of my nose to a past my face and thinking, Why can't I swim? And then going, I better start holding onto this air. Cause yeah, how long before someone realizes I'm not coming up? And so I stopped doing that at all. And maybe a second later I hear a big splash.
::Speaker 2
And sure enough, someone came and rescued me. Saved me. Yeah. I was in, I suspect in. Yeah. As a six year old boy, doing diving was what he was. Lifeguard trained. Yeah. He did something like starting and he saw he knew you realized, recognized. And he saved my life.
::Speaker 1
As you're sinking then, like, did you immediately recognize this? Is this is serious or were you would you're still confused going What's going on? Why? Why can't I move anything?
::Speaker 2
Yeah, I think that's one of those things. When you're paralyzed, that's the furthest thing from your mind. Is it that. Oh, I'm paralyzed.
::Speaker 1
Yeah. You're not. You're not even kids. It doesn't even register.
::Speaker 2
I was so ignorant to the fact that I didn't even realize someone who was paralyzed couldn't feel at that time. I thought it just meant you couldn't move.
::Speaker 1
But you. But you actually aren't feeling anything. Then from. From your neck down?
::Speaker 2
No. And I'm just like, What's going on? Fine. Minimize that. So they jump in. Backboard me are saying lift me out of the pool and I can feel just a little bit of a slide on the back of my head and I can still talk. I cry out. Stop, stop, stop. Mm. The Berkeley coach was like, Scott, what's wrong?
::Speaker 2
I'm not strapped on my knees. Yeah, you are like, No, I felt myself slide. So all the straps were on. I was like, I can't tell them what straps. So then the paramedics came. Did the testing feel this key for this? No, no. Okay. We're taking it right now.
::Speaker 1
Wow. In that moment, could you start seeing the looks on other people's faces that that was registering that was making you register that this was serious or were you was that already happening? Were you starting to figure it out yourself?
::Speaker 2
I'd like to say yes, but no. Get in the E.R. They do X-rays and everything. The doctors are explaining to me that, you know, basically my spinal cord is being pinched and that they need to, you know, straight down my spine, realign it through arm, pinch it in my mind. That meant, oh, you know, I'm pinching it maybe six months of rehabbing.
::Speaker 2
We'll be back. I'll be fine. So I started hitting on the little E.R. nurse.
::Speaker 1
It's still about the girls, isn't it? Yeah.
::Speaker 2
Yeah. You know, they flirted with her, and then I saw her face. She finally had to leave the room because she knew. Yeah, And she knew. I didn't know.
::Speaker 1
When did you start to know?
::Speaker 2
When they started drilling into my skull.
::Speaker 1
Was that fairly quickly when. When you got to the hospital?
::Speaker 2
I mean, to me, the I mean, I'm all drugs at that point, so an hour seemed like a few minutes. Yeah. But basically they explained that they needed to put me in a halo to hopefully realign the, the vertebrae that that point they're being a little more honest that they couldn't just go in and manually manipulate it cause the slightest wrong move.
::Speaker 2
And then we kill me. So this is what they had to do. And in order to put the halo on, attach it that the drill four holes into your skull to screw it on. And then from there they attach wires and hang weights off the head of the bed to cause traction and hopefully pull, you know, your spinal straight and align again.
::Speaker 1
You're sharing things like that. I mean, even when you say like drilling for holes in the skull, there's not a lot of the listeners or me that that's ever happened to like that. Just I'm sure there were so many things that in those next few hours and days that you were going through in months, years, that none of us will ever experience that.
::Speaker 1
So what was that first night like? Had it had had dawned on union by that night, did you know?
::Speaker 2
No, honestly, in the beginning it was just survival mode. It was making it through. The next minute. I think when something this extreme happens, it takes so long for mind. Yeah. To really start understanding, fully comprehending what's going on. Like it was probably over a month before I was even thinking or questioning, like when you're thinking how how am I going to the bathroom?
::Speaker 1
So all those things that took some time to realize, you know, Scott, I've had one time in my life that when people talk about like you wake up the next morning and you go, This has to be a dream. I've had one time when that really happened, and I'm assuming that this this was not the next moment, it sounds like.
::Speaker 1
And the next morning and the next morning. The next morning you were probably waking up going, Is this a dream? Is this really happening? So I want to come back to that should come back in a moment. Let's jump in to something else that right before we turned these mikes on, you had shared, which I think is so important for the audience to hear, because I think the audience I've been here, I don't want this to be offensive in any way.
::Speaker 1
But you actually said that this was your thought process as to because I've often thought, you know, I was athletic when I was younger, not at the level that you were. No one was asking me to maybe be in the Olympics. It was a dream, but my dream was unrealistic. Years was realistic. But I remember often saying, I said this aloud to people, I would rather be dead than paralyzed.
::Speaker 1
Now that the audience right now is going, I can't believe you just said that to Scott. But you were telling me before we turn these mikes that you had some injuries prior. So tell us about your knee injury and what your thought process was.
::Speaker 2
Well, I can tell you for a fact that I felt the exact same way. I'm not ashamed to admit it either. It's just that's reality. That's truth. You're in top tier athlete. And but I do I had some torn cartilage in one of my knees. I have knee surgery. Knee surgery, you know, was botched, basically. Long story short, they got terrible infection all the way down internally in the knee.
::Speaker 2
They had to come back and do knee surgery again, but just to clean out the infection. And they explained to me the possibility of having to amputate, you know, from above the knee down was a real possibility. And I told them, you know, I know I'm not living with one leg. Basically. I would rather take my, you know, either fight that infection off, beat it or die.
::Speaker 2
Yeah, those are my options.
::Speaker 1
But you're not losing a leg.
::Speaker 2
Not losing weight. So no way I could live like that.
::Speaker 1
Yeah.
::Speaker 2
Two years later, I would have taken that.
::Speaker 1
You would have taken lives in one leg. Yeah.
::Speaker 2
Oh, yeah. Oh.
::Speaker 1
Wow.
::Speaker 2
Well, but back to your point. If you told me at that time in two years, hear me severely paralyzed to the point where you have no more independence, we're completely dependent on people for the rest of your life. I said, Mm hmm. Kill me. Yeah. So you had decided in real great. I didn't realize. Now I'm staring that in the face.
::Speaker 2
It wasn't Kill me. I'm. I'm on the move. Most of my. And then beginning it was. I'm going to walk in. I'm going to beat it.
::Speaker 1
So. So when when you realize how serious this is, was there a moment where you're like, I don't want to live anymore? Or would did you quickly move into what you just said where it's like, okay, I want to figure this thing out. I'm I forgot to walk again.
::Speaker 2
So for the first two years, gung ho all about getting better. Almost getting back to my own life, old life, you know, getting back to getting it all back. And the reason is because the spinal cord is, you know, it's within your your vertebrae. It's protected by our bone. But it also doesn't it doesn't have a lot of room to expand.
::Speaker 2
So once bruised or swells, it basically closes off on itself, cuts off blood flow. And that's the reason spinal cord injuries are so serious is because of the blood flow. Tissue dies. Well, it takes about two years for all the swelling and any spinal cord injury to completely go away.
::Speaker 1
Two years, I had no idea. It takes two years for the swelling to go away. So you're in that thinking, Well, two years. This could be different then.
::Speaker 2
Right? And so in those first two years, you wake up one day and all of a sudden be able to move something or feel something you couldn't the day before, Like for me, the first six months, only when one of my lungs worked, I was on a ventilator.
::Speaker 1
Okay, let me just pause for a second there. Again, that's got to be a little scary, though, like when you're saying only one lung work. I don't know what that feels like to have one lung work. Is it was it really hard to breathe? Was it laborious to breathe?
::Speaker 2
Oh, yes. Yes.
::Speaker 1
Little. Like. Did you feel like someone like maybe with asthma, like you're breathing through a straw, like.
::Speaker 2
Yeah. Or like on a hot day when you feel like you just can't get enough.
::Speaker 1
You just can't. Yeah. And that's how you were, like every breath you take. Yeah, man. Scott Okay, so you're you're going through these two years. There's a little bit of hope that the swelling is going to go down. You want a.
::Speaker 2
Little bit of hope? Well, that's all my hope.
::Speaker 1
That's all your hope. Yeah. Okay, so two years comes.
::Speaker 2
But a year and a half comes. Reality is not much has changed. Yeah, they've made some progress. But then to use my arms, I'm not going to be walking in two years. Yeah, that's when the depression. Yeah. That's when it's. Oh, this is probably for life. Oh.
::Speaker 1
What did you go through with that depression then. Like that, when that hits.
::Speaker 2
Long dark room, lots of anger pointed in everyone gone. My parents, my mom for you know I blew CO two twice in the hospital.
::Speaker 1
Right after you got there.
::Speaker 2
In the first week.
::Speaker 1
In the first.
::Speaker 2
Week after the injury. Yeah. So I blamed my mom for a long time basically that she couldn't let me go. She kept me him.
::Speaker 1
You wished you when you started on to your depression than you you wish that they would have just let you go that first week when you so what you had thought when you were six or 18, when you had that knee injury and you're like, I don't want to live if that you were you were there again. But now it's a reality.
::Speaker 1
It's not like a lot of us have done in her mind. Like I would rather die than be paralyzed. This is actually what you're living.
::Speaker 2
Mm hmm.
::Speaker 1
How long were you going through that depression?
::Speaker 2
Long time.
::Speaker 1
Yeah.
::Speaker 2
You know, the other thing is, from the day one of my injury, they had me on heavy duty narcotics, pain meds. And long story short, you know, 17 years on, they realized this this pain that all the doctors had told me was nerve pain. There really isn't a good way to to treat nerve pain. There was actual real pain I was feeling.
::Speaker 2
And after they were able to address it, this pain I'm feeling for 17 years was gone to was able to wean off all those payments to you.
::Speaker 1
Were on pain meds for 17 years.
::Speaker 2
And heavy duty.
::Speaker 1
Would they would they affect messed with your head some and the depression and.
::Speaker 2
Oh yeah like I was on methadone which they give heroin addicts to help them get off heroin was on that for eight years and all they did was as you became less effective they just keep upping the dose. Upping the dose. I was a zombie.
::Speaker 1
Which is only adding to like you've had this life changing experience. Anybody can imagine that that would drive you to depression and some things. But but then you on top of that, you have all this medication and you're not even thinking straight in some ways.
::Speaker 2
Yeah. My main concern at that time was, God, take me. Just take me, please. But so get off the meds and then took about two years to completely wean off of them. And then it was, Whoa. I'm facing this injury with a sober mind for the first time. So finally grappling and dealing with this emotionally sober for real.
::Speaker 1
And are you saying that was like 19 years, then seven, 17 years and then pretty recently? Yeah, I was just going to say I did the math when we're on the phone, that's not that's only a couple of years then that you've been that. So you you get off of that and you're having to deal with this for the first time.
::Speaker 1
Sober sense. Yeah. Wow. So you're still processing this in some ways.
::Speaker 2
Yeah. Well, I mean, something like this is my process. Yeah.
::Speaker 1
mentioned you were July six,: ::Speaker 1
day saved my life. July six,: ::Speaker 2
That's right. What it Yeah. The path went. I said before, you know, society culture tells you what you should aspire and live to be. And oh this is what successes and and of all these things you'll be happy in love life and everything will be great right now, you know. Yeah. On the surface, everything looked like it was going great for me, but underneath I was crumbling under the pressure.
::Speaker 2
So emotional wreck. I didn't want to do it.
::Speaker 1
th,: ::Speaker 1
So what you're saying was fallen apart inside? Yeah, Yeah. When did you come to the point, though? Because obviously it took a long time to come to the point where you said that day saved my life. When were you able to say that?
::Speaker 2
Well, took a long time, huh? I can say I. So there's that. There's a couple points. The first point that I remember is probably 8 to 10 years old. You know, just praying to God, like just the whole woe is me. Why me all about me, me, me, me. And there's this memory came rushing, flooding back of back in the rehab hospital.
::Speaker 2
And this was my first return after getting released, first time coming back. And as I'm rolling in, another quadriplegic is rolling out in his power chair. And he was injured a little higher up than I was. And he was still on a ventilator, which means he's probably going to be on a ventilator for life. And as we're crossing paths, our eyes just met for a split second.
::Speaker 2
It was almost there. Just that understanding. And ten years later, boom, for whatever reason, that random memory hits me. I think, Oh, you know what? It could be worse. It could be that guy. Hmm. You'll be having to deal with life from that guy's perspective. You're whining and complaining and crying about, you know, where you're at right now.
::Speaker 2
And I think God was trying to tell me we can be thankful because it could be worse. It can be a lot worse. Yeah.
::Speaker 1
Yeah.
::Speaker 2
So that was a turning point. And long story short, when I was weaning off the meds, I have to say that was probably the most difficult time. Um, going through the withdrawals, just drenched in sweat, the emotional, all of it. And not at that time, that day. And my brokenness, my own. Just cry now. Probably the most real prayer ever prayed.
::Speaker 2
And God, I can't do this if you if you don't find a way to make this link where I can actually get through and do this, like, I'll find a way to end this myself and stop waiting for you to take me to sing that prayer. And the next thing I ran into an old friend that hadn't seen in a long time, and he had an older brother who had the spinal condition where he's basically bedridden and his older brother was in a place where he was either too drugged up, you know, where the pain was manageable, but he wasn't really coherent or he wasn't that drugged up, putting too much pain to be coherent.
::Speaker 2
So, you know, my friend, we really we became good friends just because of what he dealt with, with his brother. So anyway, it had been like two or three years since I'd seen him see and tell many people about his brother. So I asked me, you know, how's your brother doing? Neuzil Happy to see me at first. And when I said that home attitude changed and it looked to me like, You want to hear me say, Hmm, we are okay.
::Speaker 2
So why would you ask me about my brother? Think? Well, because he told me about him in there. He's got some medical stuff he can deal with it. Just curious. Yeah, I see how he's doing. Think. Oh, you don't know. About a year ago, you turn on suicide. Hmm. You went through in detail how his brother did it, and he was crying.
::Speaker 2
Start talking about his brother's kids and his wife, and then brokenness. And then you still get phone calls from kids crying and God was telling me you're making this all. Are you sure? If you're not telling yourself, one second, do your parents what's that going to do to everyone who ever loved you? Yeah, it's a selfish thing to do.
::Speaker 2
And you'll be teaching them to do the wrong thing, letting the enemy win. And who knows how many more now end up taking them. Yeah, So I got my answer later. Wow. And he told me, Yeah, you have a choice. But these are the consequences that you want to have to deal with of your choice. But a lot of other people.
::Speaker 2
Well, and the ripple effect will be far wider and far more reaching than you'll ever know or imagine. But I'm God, I'm all knowing. And I know. And sure, if you choose that, I'll do oh, I'll make me do it out of it. But I might keep you here and make good with you here.
::Speaker 1
Scott That's incredibly powerful because as you know, as I shared, you know, this podcast is all about the power of choice and the complexity of choice. And obviously you were dealing with a choice that a lot of us have said in the back of our minds without actually knowing what it would be like. Yeah, if that ever happens to me, I would.
::Speaker 1
And you're 17 years after it. You're still thinking, contemplating that. But then you were confronted with a real choice. Like, are you is that is that really what you're going to do?
::Speaker 2
Mm hmm.
::Speaker 1
And God gives you an opportunity, opens your eyes to the fact that that choice would actually hurt and wound a lot of other people and was a you used the word a rather selfish choice.
::Speaker 2
Yeah.
::Speaker 1
Yeah.
::Speaker 2
Because, yeah, my suffering, my pain here in this world will be done over but separated from God. I don't know. Yeah. That suffering and pain is beyond. Yeah. Mine or any of our true understanding, but sure. Yeah. Getting over all this is a quick, easy. Yeah, I don't think so.
::Speaker 1
orning. You woke up July six,: ::Speaker 1
What are some of your dreams now? I mean, you it 20, I want to be an Olympian.
::Speaker 2
Yeah, I want to have it all now. You know, it's not about me. That's been the big lesson. The hard lesson for me to learn is how to truly surrender and be obedient. So I don't know. My dreams are wherever God wants me to go or if He wants to take me what he wants me to do, that that's what I'm going to do.
::Speaker 1
There is no better place to be than that, is there?
::Speaker 2
So far? No, that's. Yeah, yeah, that's the best place I've found.
::Speaker 1
Yeah. Surrender. You know, it's so interesting me how you even paused with that. But when I asked you, like, what are your dreams? She paused a little bit. And you were when you're answering. But. But because you're saying, Oh, it's not about me. A lot of times when you have like, if you asked me my dreams, I would start to rattle off a bunch of them, But I would actually find out, like, you really making me pause and think.
::Speaker 1
Scott Because I'd find a lot of my dreams are about me. And what if God has a different plan? What if God's going to do something different? And where you're at in life now, as you're coming to this point, I wouldn't say come because none of us are going to arrive in this life. Right? But you're coming to the point where you're it's easier for you to say it's not about me.
::Speaker 2
Well, and I think most people realize over their lifetimes the dreams they hold on to the tightest are the ones that God will rip away and the ones that hurt the most because you hold on to it so tight. Yeah, It's what you want. You, you, you. Yeah. He's trying to teach you, child. It's not what you want.
::Speaker 1
Did you obviously said you were angry with a lot and including God. Walk us through a little bit like what that process was for you because anybody could understand okay, God you could have stopped this from happening. You could have protected me from this. You didn't. Did you struggle with with the idea of God being a good God?
::Speaker 2
Oh, yeah. This it's like, okay, God, why didn't you. Why did you blow? Breathe that. Distract me for 2 seconds. That's all I want to tell you. I would have Mr. would have been a close call and moved on.
::Speaker 1
You wouldn't even have known what you would. You would like. Well, that was a close call. And then you never thought about that Another moment?
::Speaker 2
Mm hmm. But it finally it dawned on me. This is a broken world, and we have to deal with not only our own sin, but others. And. And fallout and sins of ignorance are still sin. And so.
::Speaker 1
Part of the.
::Speaker 2
Broken world, right? Well said. The positive take away. It's temporary.
::Speaker 1
It's temporary.
::Speaker 2
Back to you thing. It's temporary. If you make the right choice.
::Speaker 1
Yeah.
::Speaker 2
So for me, understanding to mean how is separation from God? Who was God? God is joy, love, my beauty. Everything that makes you feel good. Everything is a smile on your face. Everything that you enjoy about this world. Imagine never getting to experience it or understanding it or hold it again. All you have is all the negative. That's all you to experience for eternity.
::Speaker 2
Yeah, that's not a very hard choice. Yeah.
::Speaker 1
Yeah.
::Speaker 2
I'll take you life in a wheelchair. An excruciating pain, and being completely dependent on others for any point however long.
::Speaker 1
Yeah.
::Speaker 2
But it's. There's an end.
::Speaker 1
And that that's one of the hopes that we all have as believers in Jesus. Right. Is where he says he's going to come back someday and make all things new. He's going to write all the wrongs, all the injustices, all the brokenness. When when we're up in the new heavens, in the new earth, we're going to be watching you running through fields and jumping.
::Speaker 1
And you will probably I don't know how well that works with whether we remember this life or not, but if we do it all, you're going to be enjoying that more than most of us, right? In the sense that you're not going to take it for granted as much.
::Speaker 2
When we're together.
::Speaker 1
Yeah, but the but but you brought up an important point, though, where it's not just that you're waiting for that you are you're waiting in some ways, probably with hope and longing than some of us are. But you're also there's also this point of that God is doing something in you that he couldn't have or didn't prior to this, which is what you meant when you said this.
::Speaker 1
That accident saved me.
::Speaker 2
And saved me and obviously knew I wasn't ready or the man he needed me to be at that time to really spread his gospel, his word, and help bring others to him. Yeah. And help him, you know, achieve his in his close relationship with all of us. Yeah.
::Speaker 1
Use the word surrender earlier. What do you think it means to truly surrender to God?
::Speaker 2
Less of me. More of him.
::Speaker 1
Hmm. Less of me. More than him.
::Speaker 2
Over and over and over. Every day. Every minute.
::Speaker 1
Are you there yet?
::Speaker 2
I work on it every day. Yeah, but I think that's one of those. It's a daily, minute by minute choice.
::Speaker 1
Yeah, that's a great point, because you might actually when I asked you, are you there yet? You might have actually been closer to arriving yesterday and then today it's just not a good day and you didn't choose sometimes That's true. So it's fluctuating right? It's not just like this straight line upward or downward. It's it's a little bit of a which is, again, what what what life is right.
::Speaker 2
Well it's back to ultimately what's in your control. What's in my control?
::Speaker 1
That's a that's a good question because if you're asking me how I'm supposed to be doing this podcast, Scott, you're asking me that question, then you're looking at me and you know, my answer to that would be, unfortunately, I think there's a lot more in my control than there actually is, which is where a lot of my problems come in.
::Speaker 1
Problem is a human right. I control less than I think I do.
::Speaker 2
I don't really think the only thing we have under our control is how we react, how we react to situations. So if you get bad news, how do you react to it? If you're good news, how do you react? Wow.
::Speaker 1
Wow.
::Speaker 2
Because Christ is teaching is teaching is to be mindful of how you react to everything. Mm hmm. And follow me. These are the ways you should react to this, this and this.
::Speaker 1
Scott, listen. And I say this to you. I've. I've heard a lot of people say that I was a preacher. I've preached that message a lot from the stage. Oh, but to hear there's this is this is how God is is using this to hear you say it. There's a depth to it. Like I've never experienced before. I've preached that.
::Speaker 1
I've heard people say, But when you sit there and you say that there's a depth to that, and that is one of the ways that God is using you in your story to thank you.
::Speaker 2
Oh, thank God.
::Speaker 1
Yeah. Yeah, man, I honor you. We will. I ask the listeners to because you're actually dealing with some health issues right now, Right? So are you okay with me saying, hey, listeners, be praying for Scott? They're trying to figure out some things? Yeah.
::Speaker 2
Oh, yeah, definitely. Cause, you know, I want to be more involved when do more of my church. And a lot of times physical health issues are genuine. It's just.
::Speaker 1
Yeah, discouraging at times for sure. So yeah, we, you know what we we're going to be praying for you, my friend. I'm asking all of our listeners to be praying for you with with some of those things. I just honor you. Thank you for your story.
::Speaker 2
Well, thank you for having me. And thank you for letting me be a part of this. And I can't wait to see where yeah, where all this goes when you guys are working on this. This is great. And anything, anything I can do to help in the future. Yeah, please.
::Speaker 1
Well, we will 100% keep that in mind for sure, because that's what this is about, is to, you know, especially with young people, with this mood, when this movie comes out, we want to be tied to this curriculum and help children learn one of the things children and youth, young adults. One of the parts of this curriculum is resiliency.
::Speaker 1
And if there's a story that speaks into resiliency, I mean, those are those numbers you're talking about 17 years. So not only did you deal with this injury and this life changing moment, but 17 years, you're on these drugs that are battling, that are clouding your mind, and then you got to go through withdrawal drawl for two years, and then you've got to deal with all the stuff of that time and that thing that happened 20, almost 20 years before.
::Speaker 1
But now you're dealing with it. I mean, that's talk about resiliency. So what an amazing story. We honor you, my friend. Huge respect. You're one of my heroes now. I didn't meet you personally until right now. And you are definitely one of my heroes now. But purely because when you talk about your surrender, I want to get there.
::Speaker 2
You know, one thing people just listening don't see, but I can't hide. I use my pain, my suffering. It's out there for everyone to see. So maybe that's part of the difference that I have to be honest. I yeah, I have to be truthful because, you know, I can't just. Yeah. Put on a different face and yeah, hide what I'm really doing dealing with.
::Speaker 1
And so your transparency and authenticity are definitely one of the things. And like you're saying, you're, you're kind of forced into that. But I think God uses that in a special way.
::Speaker 2
I hope he does.
::Speaker 1
And for those of us that aren't forced into it, it's a good reminder that if we will choose to surrender, there's going to be more of an honesty and transparency in our life. And God loves to really shine through that, doesn't he?
::Speaker 2
I think so, yeah.
::Speaker 1
Well, thank you, my friend. One of the things, as I was telling you that we love to do on this podcast is and it's ironic, we call it no gray areas, but all of our guests are due to truths and a lie. So we've got a chance to to meet you. We've gotten to know you a little bit, but let's see if you can stump us.
::Speaker 1
Tell us three things, two of them truths, one of them a lie, and see if I can figure it out.
::Speaker 2
Okay. I love fast cars.
::Speaker 1
Okay?
::Speaker 2
I love computers. Okay. And see And I love I love social media.
::Speaker 1
Okay. You love fast cars. You love computers. You love social media. I'm going to say the middle one I love computers is a lie. Yeah, you got me. You got me. It's social media, isn't it? Oh, I was going back and forth.
::Speaker 2
Yeah.
::Speaker 1
I wondered. I wondered if that was it. You know what I went with? This is what I went with. Because you had me stumped pretty good. I was watching all your verbals. You looked up to the Patriots computers, and I was like, Well, I've heard or read that sometimes people do that with their line. So I tested it.
::Speaker 1
You got me. You have it. So you don't like social media?
::Speaker 2
Not a fan.
::Speaker 1
Yeah, why not?
::Speaker 2
I just think it's it's one of those things that most people are responsible enough or disciplined enough for. Not really just have it take over their lives and get like, obsessed with Oh no, so and so didn't look at it or so and so blocked me. And it's like.
::Speaker 1
No, I mean, you talked about the problem with the whole me. It's all about me. And social media probably.
::Speaker 2
Exacerbates.
::Speaker 1
It. Yeah, for sure. For sure. Well, Scott, thank you so much, my friend. I have thoroughly enjoyed this time.
::Speaker 2
It's been great. Thank you.
::Speaker 1
I just made a new friend today, so I'm excited and I'm going to take you up on that. When you said, Hey, if there's anything else you can do, I may reach out to you at some point because I have no doubt that there's a lot that you can do.
::Speaker 2
I have a question for you. Okay. Do you like fast cars?
::Speaker 1
I love fast cars.
::Speaker 2
Well, then we should go for a ride in a fast car Sometimes.
::Speaker 1
You really like to go fast.
::Speaker 2
Oh, yeah. I'm still adrenaline junkie. Are you.
::Speaker 1
Really? Yeah, you'd have to be. Which? Yeah, And that's such a great point. That wouldn't have changed. Like you didn't have an accident 23 years ago or 22 years ago, whatever it was now. And Olsen, that changes. So you still like adrenaline and speed. Fastest car you've been in.
::Speaker 2
My my car. Yeah.: ::Speaker 1
What do you do you Well I.
::Speaker 2
Live right in the nice.
::Speaker 1
Yeah, yeah, I know. But I was just going to say do you take it to attract or do you okay. Yeah. Okay. I was, I was careful with that one because if you said no, then I wasn't going to ask you how fast of you got in it. But on a track, how fast have you gone in a 300.
::Speaker 2
That is the closest. It's the closest rush I can get to, to diving, but it's still not the same. Yeah.
::Speaker 1
Like when you did a perfect dive and you just wasn't diving more.
::Speaker 2
Just pulling G-forces, doing tons of flips and twists and is the most because.
::Speaker 1
I can't even get around in one front, flip or back.
::Speaker 2
Flip with the only people that you probably later like jet fighter pilot pilots, they probably be the ones that could put me to like the next level.
::Speaker 1
Yeah, I did not. I've never thought about that with like the diving in that where where the G-forces that you're putting on your body when you go around like that. Wow. Okay. Can you can you maybe send us a picture or a video of you and you did anybody take one when you've been driving like fast when someone's been driving you on the trip?
::Speaker 1
Yeah.
::Speaker 2
Yeah.
::Speaker 1
I would love to see your face when you're going at a high speed like that. Could you maybe send this that? Sure. Okay. Because if you do, we'll post it. When we, when we post this, we'll post that and tell people they'll know more about the story if they see that, because I would love to see your face.
::Speaker 1
I would love to see my face going that fast. I think the fastest I've ever got in a vehicle is about 120. Now I'm telling all the listeners. I was actually in a ride along with cops, so we were in a chase. I was in the sheriff's vehicle. We were legal. But that that was an adrenaline rush. You were a whole nother level with that.
::Speaker 2
Yeah.
::Speaker 1
That's awesome. That is so cool. Tell me again, what's the car? What vehicle to you?
::Speaker 2
It's a: ::Speaker 1
Oh, my goodness. Wow. All right. I definitely made a friend. Thanks, Scott.
::Speaker 2
It's been a pleasure. Thank you. Thank you, everyone. Yeah. All right. And yeah, God bless.
::Speaker 1
God bless, my friend. There are some testimonies and stories that we hear in life that we'll never forget. And Scott's is no doubt one of those. What a powerful story. And for you and I, as we move forward in life, let's remember, as Scott shared, that there are circumstances in our lives that we cannot change. But what we can change, what we do have the power to change is our attitude in those circumstances, our thinking in those circumstances like follow and subscribe to no gray areas.
