Unpacking the 5 Love Languages: The Timeless Wisdom of Pat & Sharmin McCalla | Ep. 83
In this exclusive Valentine's Day episode of the "No Grey Areas" podcast, listeners are treated to the timeless love story of Patrick and Sharmin McCalla, who have known each other since the age of 12. Their son-in-law and host, Brandon Lopez, guides the conversation through the layers of their enduring relationship.
The episode touches on intentional acts of love, debunking the romanticized notions of "fuzzy feelings" and "sparks." Pat and Sharmin delve into the concept of love languages, secrets to their lasting marriage, and highlighting that love is not just a feeling but an action.
As the episode concludes, the McCallas share valuable insights on incorporating the spirit of Valentine's Day throughout the year. Don’t miss this episode, on how through humor and wisdom, Pat and Sharmin McCalla offer a timeless perspective on love with a comedic twist.
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No Grey Areas is a motivational podcast with captivating guests centered around how our choices humanize, empower, and define who we become. This podcast is inspired by the cautionary tale, No Grey Areas, written by Joseph Gagliano. Learn more about the truth behind his story involved with sports' biggest scandal at nogreyareas.com
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Transcript
Host
You asked and we answered. Today we are bringing back my amazing wife, Shaman McCullough, for a part two exclusive Valentine's Day episode. Her and I are being interviewed by our son in law, Brandon Lopez. So you can guess there's a lot of surprises. Tune in to hear us dive into the five love languages. Marriage advice and tangible ways to incorporate Valentine's Day all year round.
::Brandon Lopez
well, what's happening, everybody? I am brand and bringing you a special episode of No Great Areas because it is Valentine's Day. That is right.
::Brandon Lopez
The day of romance being a more. And today we're gonna be talking about love, romance and marriage with our special guest, Patrick McCollough. And Charming McCollough. His better
::Pat and Sharmin McCalla
half wife.
::Brandon Lopez
So snuggle up close to your special somebody, because we can dive right in. Here we
::Brandon Lopez
go.
::Pat and Sharmin McCalla
How
::Pat and Sharmin McCalla
Good. Good.
::Pat and Sharmin McCalla
Well, I was with that. Here we go. Part of that. Maybe we should be coming out of the blue corner. In the red corner. Yeah. Yeah. So
::Brandon Lopez
for we're not going to talk about, like, you
::Pat and Sharmin McCalla
fighting? Yeah. Yeah.
::Pat and Sharmin McCalla
Okay. All right. Fighting can be part of romance, but we can talk about that later. It can be? Yeah. Yeah, actually.
::Brandon Lopez
Yeah. So today is a special day. You know, the theme of what we're talking about is Valentine's Day or just in other words, it's romance.
::Brandon Lopez
But we want to dive in a little bit more into, of course, love and marriage. And so let's go right into it. Yeah.
::Brandon Lopez
what's described to the audience. Pretty much like your history. Just really quick, this quick little timeline of your history together, because you've been married for
::Pat and Sharmin McCalla
well,
::Pat and Sharmin McCalla
we talked about this before, but we can go really quickly.
::Pat and Sharmin McCalla
We were on the podcast before, as you know, because
::Pat and Sharmin McCalla
you watch the podcast, don't you? Yes, go ahead. Good, good. But we have one of those crazy stories. We met in sixth grade. We started dating our sophomore year in high school. We dated through high school and you're out of high school. I asked her to marry me. Totally surprise her.
::Pat and Sharmin McCalla
Surprise myself. She said yes. 32 years later, three kids and a seventh grandkid on the way
::Pat and Sharmin McCalla
April from your lovely wife. And I think you had a part in that. So.
::Pat and Sharmin McCalla
Yeah. So it's it's been it's been quite an adventure. But we've known each other since we were 12.
::Brandon Lopez
Awesome. So let's get right into it. Straight to the to the marriage part chart. Why did you say yes to this guy?
::Pat and Sharmin McCalla
I loved him. And I thought, why not?
::Pat and Sharmin McCalla
You know the adventure
::Pat and Sharmin McCalla
For years. For years? Yeah.
::Pat and Sharmin McCalla
Yeah, definitely.
::Pat and Sharmin McCalla
four years. I don't know that we would do everything together. It was more like the last year, a little bit that way. But in high school, we had, you know, we had our she we were in different sports.
::Pat and Sharmin McCalla
Although I would come and cross-train with the track team so that I could. I was racing bikes at the time, so I needed to cross trains. I'd go to the track and
::Pat and Sharmin McCalla
she was in track. She happened to be in track, so. But yeah, I don't think we did everything together,
::Brandon Lopez
romance, right?
::Pat and Sharmin McCalla
Yeah. Yes. Yeah. Stalking is a form of romance.
::Pat and Sharmin McCalla
Yeah.
::Brandon Lopez
So same question to you, Pat,
::Brandon Lopez
because of course, you're the one pursuing her. So we'll see how romantic your answer is.
::Pat and Sharmin McCalla
Well, I have a good idea.
::Brandon Lopez
So you pursued Shar. You met her when you're 12, you pursued her, you dated her, and then, of course, you wanted to marry her.
::Brandon Lopez
So as was described, kind of going through your head
::Pat and Sharmin McCalla
There would be a lot of things, but certainly it was the way she treated people.
::Pat and Sharmin McCalla
I don't know. There was, like, a connection. I know people say that sometimes and it can get kind of weird, but there was like we started out as friends, so we had one of those because we were young.
::Pat and Sharmin McCalla
Neither one of us had driver's license. So it started off with us just talking on the phone. So it really did. Like something would be like what we were just friends. We really were. We were just friends. And and and then I think over that time, I you know, you just start going like and there's a connection here and there's the person I would spend the rest of my life with.
::Pat and Sharmin McCalla
Wow. My answer was pretty superficial. Well, then, so is it one zero? I mean, not that this is a competition. No.
::Brandon Lopez
Well, you know, it's kind of expected just because typically
::Brandon Lopez
the man is the one that's pursuing. And so usually
::Pat and Sharmin McCalla
::Pat and Sharmin McCalla
I'm okay
::Pat and Sharmin McCalla
Yes.
::Pat and Sharmin McCalla
Well, number one, it was 2:00 in the morning. I wasn't expecting it. He was. We just went out for. I was supposed to drive to go home because I was at his apartment with friends and we had gone out ice skating and spent time outside at night while it was snowing.
::Pat and Sharmin McCalla
And it was really beautiful. And I was like, I really need to get home. It's like 2:00 in the morning. He goes, Well, just go for a little drive first. And I'm like, Okay, but I really need to get home. So it's got to be quick short. So we went and he pulled into a gas station and said he was looking for something.
::Pat and Sharmin McCalla
This is another level of romance, but came out here and then eventually we ended up in the Albertson's grocery store parking lot. And like I said, another level of romance, knowing and whatever he was doing, like donuts in the parking lot, like spinning the car in the parking lot, it was as manual and it's not way to set up a proposal like spinning a car in circles.
::Pat and Sharmin McCalla
And he just like, whipped around a couple of times and then he pulled this artificial rose that he had purchased at the gas station that, let me tell the audience there were no real roses available at two in the morning at a gas station. That's why he had to go to the artificial, pulled it out of
::Pat and Sharmin McCalla
coat, and he looked over at me and he goes, They say, If you buy a woman a rose, they'll love you forever.
::Pat and Sharmin McCalla
Will you marry me? And I laughed. I thought he was kidding. I didn't think she did. I didn't think he was serious. And then he was serious. And he said, yes, I don't think you.
::Pat and Sharmin McCalla
I told you that I needed to talk to your parents because, yeah, the crazy thing about us getting engaged is we had never talked about marriage, so we'd been dating for four years, but we were always trying to be very careful with each other.
::Pat and Sharmin McCalla
We didn't want the other person choose where they're going to go to school, so we never talked about it. I didn't even think it was possible. You know, we were too young all the things that people would tell you. And actually earlier that night I was talking to a mentor of mine and I'm just going I don't know where Sean, his relationship is going to go.
::Pat and Sharmin McCalla
ble school. We're going to be: ::Pat and Sharmin McCalla
We're 19, you're too young. You what? We are 18 at that. When you're 18. At that time, you were too young. You're too young, you're too young. And and he gave me all the reasons why that was kind of silly. So I just got the courage up that night. That's why there wasn't a lot of planning into this super, super romantic proposal.
::Pat and Sharmin McCalla
And I asked her that night, and that's why she was shocked. I mean, that's why she laughed at me because she had no idea it was called kidding. Now he goes, No, I'm really serious, but yeah. okay. Yeah. So then I told her because I always vowed I would, you know, ask the parents for permission. So then I'm like, You can't say anything.
::Pat and Sharmin McCalla
I got to go talk to your parents tomorrow because I did this kind of backwards and that was one of the scariest moments of my life. But
::Pat and Sharmin McCalla
because, again, I just everybody assumed we were too young. But she said yes. Her parents said yes the next day after a lot of questions. And here we are.
::Brandon Lopez
that's a great story.
::Brandon Lopez
So what was your first date like
::Brandon Lopez
When you were started?
::Brandon Lopez
You know, started dating. And I want to know how that compares to your most recent date.
::Pat and Sharmin McCalla
well, other first date, I this is our first date again. So we our first six, seven, eight months of dating, if you want to call it dating, I put it I have the little air quotes here because we've neither one of us had driver's license, so we were just calling each other.
::Pat and Sharmin McCalla
You got your driver's license first. So remember, this is. It's not our first date is I take the school bus home with her because she lived 20 miles out of town. And my brother and sister. Yeah. And her brother and sister there. And then we get off the bus and we walk to her house and she makes dinner for us because mom was still working.
::Pat and Sharmin McCalla
Mom and dad was still working there. Her younger brother was bugging the heck out of me. He make dinner for us and then since she had a driver's license, she drove. I didn't drive it couldn't drive yet. And we went to a movie that I That was the first time I got home. Yeah. Yeah. After your mom got home.
::Pat and Sharmin McCalla
So, yeah, our first date was we took a school bus home together, and then she drove me to college, and then I dropped him off. Yeah, And then drove home. Yeah. Yeah.
::Pat and Sharmin McCalla
think you answered the second, but I would say a huge difference between those dates and dates now is you're just, you're like, nervous.
::Pat and Sharmin McCalla
You're there. I don't know. How would you describe it? You're there's but are you I mean you talk about like is there do you have butterflies? Well, there's butter there. It was different. The butterflies are. Is he like me? Am I dressed okay? You know, does my breath sting? Like, you know, like things that you're like, no.
::Pat and Sharmin McCalla
And now you're just like, that's my resting, you know, like, she's from, you know, you're just pretty. Yeah. You're like this. I'm wearing it anyway,
::Pat and Sharmin McCalla
you know, the way it usually goes for us is you come out, you say, Should I wear this or that? And then I'll pick one. And then you've already made a decision in your mind.
::Pat and Sharmin McCalla
So yeah. So that's how it usually goes. Yeah. But you know what though. Sure. I think you bring up a great point. That part of the big difference between a date then and now
::Pat and Sharmin McCalla
is the comfort level. You know, we just, we know each other well. So like you're, you're, you're not joking like now it's, it's if you had bad breath in, you know, like you're going to tell the other person now you're like you need to get a piece of gum.
::Pat and Sharmin McCalla
Right. You know, or like, serious. Are you going to wear that? Yes, I am going to wear that. Okay. Okay. That's how it goes now. Yeah. And that just shows. And I think that's that's a good thing. So it should be you know, if you've been together for 32 years of marriage, you should be comfortable with each other.
::Pat and Sharmin McCalla
And we have plenty of like date nights in or, you know, go out to dinner or something. But our last like our last probably real date was if you want to compare the two was we went to Sedona for a couple of days. So yeah, we didn't do that the sophomore year. No, no. And not only that, I mean, you know, instead of going to a movie or going to McDonald's, we went to McDonald's all the time, you know, back then and
::Pat and Sharmin McCalla
now it's like, you know, go have a nice dinner and,
::Pat and Sharmin McCalla
get out of town.
::Pat and Sharmin McCalla
And there's there's also a little bit of a cash difference there, too. So, yeah. So not that we don't mind just something simple either. So
::Brandon Lopez
perfect. So one thing is that you guys have mentioned, and I feel like this is a common theme to recent days, of course, throughout your marriage and your relationship.
::Brandon Lopez
It's something that you said it was. You were really good friends in your dating relationship even before you get dating, but in your dating relationship, you're really good friends. And that was one of the greatest motivations and also one of the greatest foundations in why you guys got married. And it sounds like throughout the years, of course, and knowing you guys to really good friends and why I feel like kind of one of the reasons why most people feel more comfortable with one another, of course, is they're with each other all the time.
::Brandon Lopez
And of course, the more honest you are with each other because of your friendship. So like, Hey, this is my breadstick,
::Pat and Sharmin McCalla
Yeah, right.
::Brandon Lopez
And so for Valentine's Day is the it's the day of romance. And you get you know, you get some people that are like, you know, it's dumb. You should not celebrate just one day. You should be romantic year round and
::Brandon Lopez
not going to listen to those, you know, smokes because
::Pat and Sharmin McCalla
days specifically to
::Pat and Sharmin McCalla
celebrate
::Pat and Sharmin McCalla
well, you've made it.
::Pat and Sharmin McCalla
I mean, you definitely make it special for the kids. Like we had kids for a while. And so you like you did a big thing for them,
::Pat and Sharmin McCalla
right? I think it I think I think that if the focus changed a little a little bit when we had kids.
::Pat and Sharmin McCalla
I think because especially when the kids are little and they're not off doing their own things like you're if you want to plan a date night or if you're having, you know, with Horizon, it's like, well, but we have kids and you don't always have a babysitter.
::Pat and Sharmin McCalla
You can't always just, you know, go out. So you figure out how to incorporate them in making them feel special as well, or whether that's we did, you know, we'd gross them out and kiss in front of them and, you know, all the answers that there's. Back to mom, Dad, stop, You know, making them feel loved and special on this special day as well.
::Pat and Sharmin McCalla
It's not I don't think maybe just for couples, but
::Pat and Sharmin McCalla
He's actually more romantic than I am.
::Pat and Sharmin McCalla
Well, you can tell from the way he proposed to her, I mean. Yes. yes. Now, you're definitely more intentional about that. I like your question. I like his question. Or don't you? Sure. Because I think we've talked about this many times, especially early in our marriage.
::Pat and Sharmin McCalla
We would always say to people, and friendship's one of the most important things, So our most important things and I still believe that. I really do believe that. I think that's what can really carry like a common interest. You just like to hang around with each other. I mean, still to this day, if I'm traveling or I'm doing something and I do something, it's really cool and she's not with me.
::Pat and Sharmin McCalla
I'm like, I wish I was here. I wish she could be part of this. But time has also taught me that some of those, like romance, you know, are the three letter word that goes with that right? The word that goes with that sex. Yes. Yes. But that's such a that timewise, you know, when you talk to the about the totality of hours in a year and then how much of that is going to be it's a small percentage, but I've counseled enough couples.
::Pat and Sharmin McCalla
We've walked through some journeys with some some couples, some tough journeys. You find out that that plays into the friendship part, too, like we as Westerners like to compartmentalize things so much. So we got your friendship, part of your marriage and your sex part of your marriage and your your, you know, whatever else. Those are the only two parts of marriage I can think of right now.
::Pat and Sharmin McCalla
Typical guy. But
::Pat and Sharmin McCalla
Remember when we should talk about that we'd have these come we'd be like, well, maybe they just I guess they just do things differently. But sure enough, eventually you'd find out they were not in a good place. So that the romance, the sex, that's it. That has a huge part with the friendship part as well.
::Pat and Sharmin McCalla
Yeah. Yeah. Yes.
::Brandon Lopez
like this will even go into another topic of discussion is that I think that,
::Brandon Lopez
would I be wrong to assume that especially in our culture is that we kind of glorify romance
::Pat and Sharmin McCalla
the fuzzy feeling, the.
::Pat and Sharmin McCalla
This. Yeah. Yeah, the music. That's true.
::Pat and Sharmin McCalla
Right, Right.
::Brandon Lopez
pretty much anything that's thrown in our face.
::Brandon Lopez
this time of the year, of course, you go to Walmart, you see everything that's in, you know, hearts and chocolates and everything like that.
::Brandon Lopez
when we bring up intimacy, when we bring up sex in in a relationship, do you think that's
::Brandon Lopez
because I find a lot of people when they when they, quote unquote, fall out of love or when a relationship fails, typically my observation is, is that they don't usually they usually all have something in common.
::Brandon Lopez
They usually start their relationship and they're out of intimacy and sex and not out of friendship.
::Pat and Sharmin McCalla
::Brandon Lopez
And usually when I make this observation, when I see a relationship that starts from a foundation of just just like friendship, like good actual friendship in that can involve usually I see this a trend in which the not that, you know, people don't have their struggles and their, you know, low points or anything like that.
::Brandon Lopez
But usually there's a trend and there's a high probability based off my observation, that there's higher levels of success and happiness associated with the relationships in their marriage. And then I find that people that kind of go into the more of the status quo of how we approach relationships, they usually
::Brandon Lopez
you know, we definitely nowadays have more of a hookup culture in the sense of,
::Pat and Sharmin McCalla
you know, you,
::Pat and Sharmin McCalla
relationship.
::Brandon Lopez
And so we elevate to different things
::Brandon Lopez
when we see your journey, of course, there's the friendship as a base. When we see a lot of other people, their base is usually more sexual, that's more sexual partners. Then they become friends through
::Pat and Sharmin McCalla
Time after time.
::Brandon Lopez
Do you think there is a do you think there's a correlation with that as far as the percentage of people falling out of love filled relationships, failed marriages?
::Brandon Lopez
You know, we of course,
::Brandon Lopez
statistically we are at, what, 75% of marriages ending in divorce, I think, or something like
::Pat and Sharmin McCalla
Yeah.
::Pat and Sharmin McCalla
Yeah, I did not write that. But yeah, it sounds about right. I think it's more like 50 or 60.
::Pat and Sharmin McCalla
But
::Pat and Sharmin McCalla
Really?
::Pat and Sharmin McCalla
Well, I just said you're pretty. Pretty sure that is 75%. By the way, if you going to use my math skills. Are
::Pat and Sharmin McCalla
You point people to that often. Yes. And in this. Yes.
::Brandon Lopez
But do you find that there's a correlation with that. Do you think that when we talk about romance oftentimes we got to be a little bit more tentative and a little bit more careful just because usually the the lens that we look through as far as relationships go is more sexual than it is friendship
::Pat and Sharmin McCalla
what we've talked about right there, that kind of goes back to what I said before, where early on we would often say it's all it's friendship is so important,
::Pat and Sharmin McCalla
which it is. This is where I think it's dangerous. Dangerous to compartmentalize. Then we met a lot of couples that just the romance had left there.
::Pat and Sharmin McCalla
And we and we go we got to quit downplaying that part of it, too. They're they're both important. They play into each other. But I think what you're saying, where did you go? And if you start with one and you think that's going to sustain it, like if if it starts as the romance, the sexualize that and then you think that's going to sustain, it probably is not going to.
::Pat and Sharmin McCalla
I was I'm not going to say it's not because you could grow into being good friends and but that I see there could be a danger that either either one of us, either one, I would see that there are pitfalls if you don't grow.
::Pat and Sharmin McCalla
I mean, the fluttery feelings you don't you're not married for 32 years and you go like, Yeah, we finished.
::Pat and Sharmin McCalla
Like every morning we wake up, we look at each other and go, Wow, you get your heart's just beating like Christmas. Yeah, Yeah, It's. You keep bringing that up. Yeah, exactly.
::Pat and Sharmin McCalla
Yeah, that would be silly to say that. And if you thought if someone thought that was going to sustain it. And then when you don't feel that if all of a sudden, you know, you're you're getting, you're so.
::Pat and Sharmin McCalla
But I would also say, though, I would flip the script a little bit and say, yeah, but after 32 years of marriage, if you're not feeling that sometimes for your spouse, there's something wrong with that, too. You know, but so that's all tied together. I think it's again, the friendship part is,
::Pat and Sharmin McCalla
that's a big part. I write this.
::Pat and Sharmin McCalla
It is. And I think when you're new in a relationship, I mean, it's been a while since we were at new in a relationship. But when you're new in a relationship,
::Pat and Sharmin McCalla
there's definitely more intention. I feel like there's more you more maybe more often that you go on a date or that you do, you know, as far as romance is like, they really like this book, or I'm going to buy them a coffee and bring it to them, or I'm going to, you know what?
::Pat and Sharmin McCalla
Whatever, whatever it could be, whatever it could be. Because romance isn't necessarily just sex. Romance is just you're thinking about the other person, right? Like you're what do they like? What do they enjoy? Listen closely, Brandon. Thank you. You know, but I mean, that's the way to someone's heart, too, is not just
::Pat and Sharmin McCalla
physical. There's the emotional part of it.
::Pat and Sharmin McCalla
There's, you know, just all of it.
::Pat and Sharmin McCalla
So you have to even though you might be more intentional at the beginning and because you just you can't wait wait to see them, you know, if you're not, you know, together all the time. And
::Pat and Sharmin McCalla
but or even if you are and you're like, I can't wait till they come home for dinner and, you know, everything.
::Pat and Sharmin McCalla
And now it's like, I forgot about dinner. Okay, what are we going to do for dinner? But, he really likes that. Okay. Yeah. Okay, I'll make that. Or, you know, whatever it could be. I think it's just going to take intention, especially. I think the longer that you've been together and then then you put kids in the mix and family and drama and all of that stuff that just keeps adding on and adding more people into your relationship circle, then you can get pulled in many different ways.
::Pat and Sharmin McCalla
So
::Pat and Sharmin McCalla
I tend to take intention, whether it's like going on a date or planning a special evening or meal or spending a day together, or
::Pat and Sharmin McCalla
just being together can be romantic. I love that word that you use because I think intentionality, I think that is something that when you talk about couples that fall out of love, whatever that term means
::Pat and Sharmin McCalla
guarantee you a lot of times somewhere along the line, they started losing that intentionality
::Pat and Sharmin McCalla
and that does look different than when you're first in a relationship and you've been together for a long time.
::Pat and Sharmin McCalla
But if you stop being intentional about trying to find that space, one thing that started for me years ago that was still one of my favorite things is I was working a job where we just didn't get a lot of time together. We had I think at that time we had one kid in high school still, so we were doing the high school sports stuff, but Mondays were my day off.
::Pat and Sharmin McCalla
Remember, this now is is awesome. She started what she called mystery Monday. I would look forward to this. And a mystery Monday was where she would like set the whole day up. And so this is the intentionality. I mean, by that time we've been married for 25 years or something, but I would wake up in the morning and she'd be like, all right, go get in the car.
::Pat and Sharmin McCalla
And I had no idea what we're going to do. But she had some little adventure planned. And it wasn't every Monday. It was no, it lasted about a fall. Like, you know, I think it last fall. And then we did it five or six times. I mean, one of them was big. We drove clear to the Grand Canyon in high part of the Grand Canyon on a mystery Monday.
::Pat and Sharmin McCalla
It was just a day trip on a date. We got up before that that when it was the night before, she said, we're waking up at four in the morning.
::Pat and Sharmin McCalla
Like, I don't know if I like this mystery Monday, but some of them. And then another one, we went to a coffee shop that she found that was opening and she just brought some games.
::Pat and Sharmin McCalla
We played games together. But I think that goes back to what you were describing. I love that word. You used intentionality that it's just always and, you know, I might add another word, priority, intentionality and priority, because again, it's you got to show your spouse that they're the priority in your life.
::Brandon Lopez
good. You brought up a lot and you
::Pat and Sharmin McCalla
Okay, I know this is actually
::Pat and Sharmin McCalla
Good luck with that host.
::Brandon Lopez
I think what's really cool is, is because
::Brandon Lopez
you guys just displayed and brought up that there are key things within a relationship that makes it work. Well, not that intentionality and priority is
::Brandon Lopez
like the only
::Pat and Sharmin McCalla
very true.
::Pat and Sharmin McCalla
absolutely.
::Brandon Lopez
But I think we can absolutely argue that they're
::Pat and Sharmin McCalla
Yeah. Yeah. You know, they do.
::Brandon Lopez
But being intentional and being intentional and making somebody a priority, those are all choices. You know, we're talking about no gray areas, talking about choices, you know, choosing to make somebody a priority and being and choosing to be intentional with them. How important that is in that romance, I think we could also argue isn't just some emotional fleeting thing.
::Brandon Lopez
It's actually also a choice.
::Pat and Sharmin McCalla
Yeah, right. That's true.
::Pat and Sharmin McCalla
you
::Pat and Sharmin McCalla
you know?
::Pat and Sharmin McCalla
that we see in that voice, yeah, it's just like,
::Brandon Lopez
But the reason why they say that is just because they realize that that person was made a priority
::Pat and Sharmin McCalla
Yeah, there's a lot of intentionality
::Pat and Sharmin McCalla
Yeah. So this
::Brandon Lopez
perfectly brings into something I want to talk about, which is
::Unknown
Hey, from your No gray Areas team, we just want to say thank you so much for listening. And if you're loving this episode, would you just take a moment and leave us a review and rating on whatever platform you're listening from? If you're watching on YouTube, make sure you hit that subscribe button so you don't miss out on the new podcast episodes that drop every other Wednesday by leaving a review and subscribing, you help others discover our podcasts inspirational messages to effectuate positive change in their lives.
::Unknown
Okay, let's jump back in to this episode.
::Brandon Lopez
So this
::Brandon Lopez
perfectly brings into something I want to talk about, which is
::Brandon Lopez
the five love languages
::Pat and Sharmin McCalla
Well,
::Pat and Sharmin McCalla
Well, I haven't written down right here. Yeah, you should do my
::Pat and Sharmin McCalla
Words of affirmation, acts of service, receiving gifts, quality time and physical touch to the five love languages.
::Brandon Lopez
and if you're in Arizona, AC
::Brandon Lopez
yes, so there's five love languages and it's inscribed with the five love languages that
::Brandon Lopez
everybody has their way of receiving
::Pat and Sharmin McCalla
love.
::Pat and Sharmin McCalla
Yeah.
::Pat and Sharmin McCalla
Yeah,
::Pat and Sharmin McCalla
love.
::Pat and Sharmin McCalla
Yeah,
::Pat and Sharmin McCalla
it might be a foreign language to us. Yeah, right.
::Brandon Lopez
words of affirmation might be mine, but for my wife, if I give her words of affirmation, she might just be like, I don't need you to talk me up or say I'm cute or this or that.
::Brandon Lopez
Just give me gifts.
::Pat and Sharmin McCalla
was
::Pat and Sharmin McCalla
know, I think you just described our daughter very well.
::Brandon Lopez
But with languages there's different dialects. There's different, you know, there's a lot of different things. But when you want to adequately speak love to somebody and speak their love language, you need to learn how to be fluent in that. Right.
::Pat and Sharmin McCalla
Yeah. So
::Brandon Lopez
the audience what is something that you guys like If you guys know what your love languages
::Brandon Lopez
and I guess you guys can talk about too a little bit like how well you guys speak each other's loving which is or like in cases when you have learned that speaking directly to each other in that
::Brandon Lopez
language was a lot better than speaking to them in a different
::Pat and Sharmin McCalla
Yeah. Yeah.
::Pat and Sharmin McCalla
Well, first of all, we'll put this in the description of the podcast. There's a place where someone can go take a test. It's a little quiz, really easy quiz, and we'll tell them what
::Pat and Sharmin McCalla
their love language is. And I
::Brandon Lopez
the link of No various book by
::Pat and Sharmin McCalla
Joe Gabriel. Nice, Nice. This is masterful how you're weaving this together.
::Pat and Sharmin McCalla
The power and complexity of choice. And yeah, I love it. It's but it's I highly, highly, highly recommend it. We would highly recommend because that was a book we read early in our marriage, the five love languages back then. So you and the younger generation won't know about this, but you could order, but you'd get it in like a magazine and you get five books for a penny and then you'd pay for the six book or something else.
::Pat and Sharmin McCalla
And we were poor, newly married. So and we both love to read. So that's how we got our book collection growing. But one of the books that came was the Five Love Languages. And we read it. It I mean, I don't think it's short of saying in some ways it revolutionized our marriage, but it just made us recognize, especially me, because I break on shore here.
::Pat and Sharmin McCalla
My love language is words of affirmation. She's incredibly good at giving me words of affirmation, her love languages, acts of service. I'm still trying to get better at that. Okay. Well, I'm going to differ with that because
::Pat and Sharmin McCalla
I have to be very intentional because words of affirmation are very low for me. So that's like for my love language, acts of service is my top one.
::Pat and Sharmin McCalla
So I have to go. I have to be really intentional because it doesn't mean as much like it doesn't mean nothing, but it doesn't mean as much to me. So I definitely have to be more intentional. And I struggle. I struggle, I have to admit, like I struggle with going, yeah, okay, he doesn't care that I'm I've clean the kitchen today so that when he comes into the kitchen, it's clean like that.
::Pat and Sharmin McCalla
Doesn't you know, that doesn't, that doesn't matter to him. What matters is, hey, you know, how is your podcast today? How did it go? I bet you did a great job or, you know, there's
::Pat and Sharmin McCalla
just different things like that. You think I did what exactly? Exactly, exactly, Exactly. Like, No, But that's your point, though, isn't it, Brandon? Because both of us said the same thing is
::Pat and Sharmin McCalla
both of us said, I'm still trying to get better at acts of service because that's probably one of the lowest on mine.
::Pat and Sharmin McCalla
So it's like a foreign language that's in to your point, it's like a foreign language for me and for Shar to give words of affirmation. It's like a foreign language for her. But I do think that since we read that early in our marriage, we have been trying to be intentional about it. And I would differ on what you said.
::Pat and Sharmin McCalla
She's been really good at that. Like I was a speaker for years and I could come off the stage and if there was a line of people, you know, 50 long that were like one amazing message, great message, right? I loved it because I'm a words of affirmation guy. But there's only one person I really wanted to hear that from.
::Pat and Sharmin McCalla
And she was always really good about, you know, and not just doing the blanket like, good job today. She'd usually find something like, I really liked when you said something. So recognizing that that's a foreign language to her, that even meant more to me to know that she was she was going out of way. Fact, I didn't always she got so natural and still I didn't go, she's giving me words of affirmation.
::Pat and Sharmin McCalla
That's my love language just felt like she's naturally.
::Pat and Sharmin McCalla
But it is. That's your point. Is we both have to work at it. Active services. You know her dad is that's his gift of he is incredible in active service. You know, her dad that's his love language probably because that's what he's so good at doing. And then she married a guy that that's from the bottom of my list.
::Brandon Lopez
Well, you noticed too, I imagine when you guys were dating and, you know, everything's like, feels all fuzzy butterflies, but you're trying to be romantic and woo her. Did you inherently kind of learn
::Pat and Sharmin McCalla
not
::Pat and Sharmin McCalla
Well, I might rewind. Let me try that again. I mean, let's rewind that. Let me try that again.
::Pat and Sharmin McCalla
We'll edit that part out. Here's my answer to you now. Like
::Pat and Sharmin McCalla
Absolutely. Absolutely. I you know, I was about a month into our marriage and I knew no, that's not at all the case. That's why that book was so good is I think I was really good at affirming her, like giving a words because that's my love language.
::Pat and Sharmin McCalla
I assumed everybody needs that or wants that. So I was probably better at that,
::Pat and Sharmin McCalla
telling her, you know, like, hey, great job. You got another eight on that test, I guess what I got. But
::Pat and Sharmin McCalla
now I think that book really helped me realize that, that people have different love languages. So I didn't I didn't I don't think I inherently came on that.
::Pat and Sharmin McCalla
How about, you know,
::Pat and Sharmin McCalla
what's interesting is after finding that out, you know, you do something like that and you figure that out, then you start thinking back through, you know, the history of like your relationship. And you go, I okay, yeah, I see it. I can see it where what I said made a difference or, or that's she's really good at that with me and with others.
::Pat and Sharmin McCalla
You know the words of affirmation. He's very good at that. And I'm like, like, you just go. It's just a little light bulb moment where you go, Okay, yeah. If you wanted to know what kind of what you're saying is, if you want to know what someone else's love languages probably watch what they do. Well, like if they're doing if they're serving and doing out this, probably that.
::Pat and Sharmin McCalla
Now, if the listeners are paying attention, they probably be wondering why did Mystery Monday mean so much to you of words of affirmation and interesting acts of service were at the bottom because my second which is also her second is quality time.
::Brandon Lopez
bilingual
::Pat and Sharmin McCalla
So yeah well I'm bilingual in the love language. Yeah everybody is by the way. You have a primary and secondary and our secondary is quality time.
::Pat and Sharmin McCalla
So the mystery Mondays. Yeah, I mean the access service was huge. All the planning that she would have to do and put that together. But what connected with me on it is like it's just me and her hanging out quality time. So, so that was the second one, which is that that's what's nice is it's also her second one.
::Pat and Sharmin McCalla
So our, our secondary love language,
::Pat and Sharmin McCalla
we speak pretty well to each other because we're natural and
::Brandon Lopez
And I think you brought up a great point too.
::Brandon Lopez
If you want to know what the love language is of your significant other, look at what they do well,
::Pat and Sharmin McCalla
all right.
::Pat and Sharmin McCalla
somebody for sure.
::Pat and Sharmin McCalla
yeah,
::Brandon Lopez
maybe I should do
::Pat and Sharmin McCalla
maybe like, clean up my sound. And it really
::Pat and Sharmin McCalla
you know, can, can we move on from this? Because I'm thinking of the list of things that she hey, these are things that I want done around the house.
::Pat and Sharmin McCalla
Those lists are still going. So let's move on with some of the same.
::Brandon Lopez
No,
::Brandon Lopez
I think that's very critical for most relationships.
::Brandon Lopez
And whenever we see something as far as you want to do a romantic gesture you found that is only been amplified when you've done something that spoke to her more and vice versa.
::Pat and Sharmin McCalla
Right.
::Brandon Lopez
instance, like the mystery Mondays,
::Pat and Sharmin McCalla
even if you
::Brandon Lopez
weren't making that consistent thing, like if you wanted to be like earlier or romantic gesture,
::Brandon Lopez
speaking to Pat would be like, Hey, I know he loves us.
::Brandon Lopez
This will mean something really deeply to him.
::Brandon Lopez
So very cool. And I think of of course, all that too has to come down to choosing like and this is going to lead into in. The next question is, I think that
::Brandon Lopez
there's always something special and something there. And I think it's very hard for somebody to really pinpoint, say, like, I love so-and-so, like we love each other.
::Brandon Lopez
And you ask them why. And I think there's just always something there. You just can't explain.
::Brandon Lopez
How much of it is a choice, though, like to love somebody and also just the action, the act of loving somebody.
::Brandon Lopez
How much do you think is you know, of course, we just based off of all we talked about, we talked about being intentional, we talked about prioritizing, We talked about treating each other well through like learning each other's love languages.
::Brandon Lopez
Those are all choices. But is there room in loving somebody? Just be in love? I guess being in love with somebody that is a choice, not just a, I guess a feeling or
::Brandon Lopez
just some mystery thing.
::Pat and Sharmin McCalla
Absolutely. I think at the very beginning
::Pat and Sharmin McCalla
of relationships, I think you see that act. You see the act of
::Pat and Sharmin McCalla
love. It's definitely a choice because the person is choosing to say things, do things for the other person or with the other person. They're definitely
::Pat and Sharmin McCalla
choosing to. Yet they may think, but I really I just really wanted to know.
::Pat and Sharmin McCalla
But you still have to make the choice to do that over time. Maybe other things kind of other. There could be other priorities, other things that maybe get in the way or that are more priority. Sometimes it is tyranny of the urgent, but I absolutely think that there's definitely choice because I could say I love my dog, but if I'm not caring for my dog, then
::Brandon Lopez
which is really funny because
::Pat and Sharmin McCalla
okay, we have to go there.
::Pat and Sharmin McCalla
You for the audience, I she's not a big animal lover.
::Pat and Sharmin McCalla
love animals. How many ask you to be in trouble? How many animals do you. I just don't want to own. And I love animals.
::Pat and Sharmin McCalla
I do. I love that she grew up on a farm. You do? But I don't. I just don't need to own an animal.
::Pat and Sharmin McCalla
I'm glad you pointed that out. Okay, So. So if I say that I love my children and then I don't care for them, right? You're like,
::Pat and Sharmin McCalla
Do you love them? Like love is definitely, I would say a verb, an action. Yeah. Well, even from a biblical perspective, it is an action verb. Absolutely. It's like God loved us.
::Pat and Sharmin McCalla
So what did he do? You know, that should always, if. If I love Shar should be followed with. Okay, then what am I doing? So it is,
::Pat and Sharmin McCalla
absolutely an action. But I think that this is why I would again encourage the audience to take that test
::Pat and Sharmin McCalla
because what you need to learn and this is the that is what does she need, though not what I think she needs or vice versa?
::Pat and Sharmin McCalla
Like, what do I need to feel valued and respected for her to feel cherished, which really are the two big love languages of men and women. Men want to feel respected and women want to be cherished. We know that because God told us that. But what does she need to feel cherished? And the love language test kind of tells you that for her, it's acts of service and quality time.
::Pat and Sharmin McCalla
I can give her a lot of words of affirmation, which I do, because it's natural, but it's has a 10% impact compared to an act of service,
::Pat and Sharmin McCalla
which I so wish wasn't true, because that's so much work for me. It's almost it's just natural for me. I mean, every week I'm sending my kids like, I sent you one recently and you're like, It's part of I said, Brennan, when I never heard back from him.
::Pat and Sharmin McCalla
But no, I sent him one. And he's like, Is Pat okay?
::Pat and Sharmin McCalla
If you assume, like, something really bad was happening, I'm like, Hey, I just want to tell you, have a great day. I'm proud of you and your diagnosis. Yeah, she died of. No, but that's just natural for me.
::Brandon Lopez
that. I don't respond.
::Pat and Sharmin McCalla
Yeah,
::Pat and Sharmin McCalla
well, you ever. None of our kids seem, though.
::Pat and Sharmin McCalla
We text all of them. It's like nothing. In fact, I get jealous because she hears back more. I'll be like, What? You. He responded to you. He didn't respond to me.
::Brandon Lopez
I prefer nothing than just like a thumbs up.
::Pat and Sharmin McCalla
you know,
::Pat and Sharmin McCalla
Okay. Good job. Even though words of affirmation or is your love language
::Brandon Lopez
my. It used to. And that's another thing I want to bring up. I think some people kind of evolve and change
::Pat and Sharmin McCalla
okay.
::Brandon Lopez
be satisfied in other ways.
::Brandon Lopez
And so for me, I definitely do like quality time. That's always been one of mine.
::Pat and Sharmin McCalla
did you take the test or do you figure out this on your own? Figured this out on, you know, just
::Brandon Lopez
by reading the book. Like,
::Pat and Sharmin McCalla
that's, that's cool with me because I'll bet I'll bet words of affirmation and quality time ranked really close together.
::Brandon Lopez
take tests on anything like my top two are usually always neck and neck.
::Pat and Sharmin McCalla
Yeah,
::Brandon Lopez
I think for me to like and this is something that might be noteworthy for our audience, I think for me with words of affirmation, I think that also came from a place of, at least at the time of my life, where I was struggling a lot with like self-respect and insecurity.
::Brandon Lopez
And so I was trying to leverage words of affirmation to counteract
::Pat and Sharmin McCalla
those feelings.
::Brandon Lopez
when I didn't feel the need out of that one way. I feel like when I became more emotionally mature, it wasn't something that I actually wanted, let alone needed.
::Pat and Sharmin McCalla
So let me see if I'm hearing you right. You're saying anybody has words of affirmation is emotionally insecure. doesn't know about.
::Brandon Lopez
no, that's not what I'm saying at all. It's just at the time, I think
::Pat and Sharmin McCalla
Yeah, I get it. And some people,
::Brandon Lopez
they might be
::Brandon Lopez
one of the things that they might struggle with is just being alone. And so they might think that I need quality time and they might just be growing through something and becoming more mature through something.
::Brandon Lopez
So I think that
::Pat and Sharmin McCalla
yeah,
::Pat and Sharmin McCalla
great sort of
::Brandon Lopez
like a book, like the love languages a lot of times too, is are you reading it and are you going through it in a time of
::Brandon Lopez
immaturity or are you going through it in a headspace
::Pat and Sharmin McCalla
or I would say immaturity or deep pain, right. Like you saw that
::Pat and Sharmin McCalla
with.
::Pat and Sharmin McCalla
She often will say when people be like, well, you know, there was one argument for getting married young, like don't get married too young because you're going to change. Well, we always say you may people may still have good arguments. And why not? You married young. I'm not arguing that right now. But you're going to change no matter what age you are.
::Pat and Sharmin McCalla
That is true. What? She saw me go through big changes in my forties, but it was because of the difficult times I was going through in that time. So I think you're right. If you took the love language quiz when you're going through a really difficult time or
::Pat and Sharmin McCalla
what did you call me again? Immature. What was the worst year?
::Pat and Sharmin McCalla
Do you? Yeah, it can skew it can skew it some. You're right. They would say something about personality test. So to be aware of that, it's a great point. And how in the that could maybe change
::Pat and Sharmin McCalla
so what you're saying is Ashley if you're listening Ashley, our daughter who's married to you, that that words of affirmation is still important to you, but you're saying quality time was almost moved up because as you've matured, you're going, I don't need words of affirmation like I used to.
::Brandon Lopez
And she's a lot like you. Two words of affirmation is in
::Pat and Sharmin McCalla
strong, Right? Right.
::Brandon Lopez
so it might just be like quality time. It was like I'll take
::Pat and Sharmin McCalla
it's number two, but I'll take that one
::Brandon Lopez
We can leave that part out
::Pat and Sharmin McCalla
You know, knowing that part in Bloom's back. Yes, Please leave that part of
::Pat and Sharmin McCalla
next, next family talk.
::Pat and Sharmin McCalla
Yeah.
::Pat and Sharmin McCalla
Even
::Brandon Lopez
in love, the action of love is a choice, and we have to be intentional and prioritize one another for it. And then we have this day of Valentine's Day, which can easily be, Are you just waiting
::Brandon Lopez
spike revenue for most stores right. But it is a day to celebrate romance, a day to celebrate
::Pat and Sharmin McCalla
for sure. So
::Brandon Lopez
now I do think that a day to celebrate one another and just being just loving and romance is a good thing. I'm not harping
::Pat and Sharmin McCalla
Yeah,
::Brandon Lopez
but I do think that there's definitely room for the conversation of how can we incorporate Valentine's Day throughout the year? You know, that doesn't happen. There had to be every day, but throughout the year.
::Brandon Lopez
So it's not just say, okay, there's only one day of the year that I'm going to be super intentional about, you know, flowers, chocolates, dinners, dinner reservations or special things, you know, the grand gestures.
::Brandon Lopez
What would be your advice to anybody really young? Couples, older couples, anybody? How would you incorporate Valentine's Day throughout the year to honor one another and your in the within your relationship?
::Pat and Sharmin McCalla
I think that it goes back to what we had talked about before and just making a chop, making a conscious choice to say, okay, I'm not going to do this.
::Pat and Sharmin McCalla
Just time of year. Like for those of the audience that are maybe words of affirmation. And so you maybe you're like, I can't come up with something. So I bought a card that perfectly explains how I feel. Okay, maybe do that more than once a year, or sending a text or, you know, doing writing a letter, or he would write me tons of letters, even in high school and after high school, even even though we lived in the same house, he would write me letters and
::Pat and Sharmin McCalla
also other things because acts of service, you know, okay, you
::Brandon Lopez
And I'm going to I'm going to talk up your husband, your hubby, right now,
::Pat and Sharmin McCalla
okay.
::Pat and Sharmin McCalla
I think I am.
::Brandon Lopez
I would make the assumption
::Brandon Lopez
that you have a husband that is upholding his part of the deal and treating you and loving you the way that
::Brandon Lopez
you want to be treated and loved and the way that he wants to treat you and love you.
::Brandon Lopez
And if you guys want to zoom in on his eyes
::Brandon Lopez
No, I think that's good.
::Pat and Sharmin McCalla
Yeah, I do. I was going to make
::Pat and Sharmin McCalla
::Brandon Lopez
I would make the argument I would take this responsibility and I would call all the men within a relationship to take this responsibility to take up the mantle, to be the one that is,
::Brandon Lopez
being the one to to take on this challenge within the related being in the relationship and having the responsibility over this.
::Brandon Lopez
Like I think it's actually good that you are actually struggling a
::Pat and Sharmin McCalla
little bit
::Brandon Lopez
it all comes down to it, it's down to his responsibility to make sure that this relationship is is well and is good. And I think that that's very political. That's not just like a now you just squeeze like some schmuck kind of thing
::Brandon Lopez
bad wife.
::Brandon Lopez
That's not what I'm saying at all. But I think the reason truly, I think the reason why it's kind of difficult for you to answer that question is because I think that
::Brandon Lopez
Pat is doing a good job,
::Pat and Sharmin McCalla
here, and
::Pat and Sharmin McCalla
he does
::Brandon Lopez
applauding and celebrating
::Pat and Sharmin McCalla
Yes. Well, thanks, Brendon.
::Pat and Sharmin McCalla
You know what popped into my mind?
::Pat and Sharmin McCalla
I clear my throat.
::Pat and Sharmin McCalla
What popped into my mind was it's a word we've used numerous times. And I guess that's the theme of this episode. It's prioritizing and being intentional. That's how you make light you. Carrie. Valentine's Day. Valentine's Day is a good idea. Like take it, take a time to to step outside of the business of everything and make your significant other your spouse know that you're a priority to me, but it's got to be more than once a year.
::Pat and Sharmin McCalla
Now there is something special about you can't do that every day. And like it's not special if it's every single day. But I think there's something really, really valuable. And, you know, that's what we were still figuring out, working through and we try to do for each other is she has to know that she comes before our kids, she comes before our grandkids, she comes before my job, she comes before anything else.
::Pat and Sharmin McCalla
Now, how we how I display that to her is going to change all the time. And then I'm not going to do it well at all. Sometimes they're not to go and say, I'm really sorry. You should have been a priority and. You weren't. But I think that's that word is such a key one. I mean, I guarantee you, you look at a couple who is married for a year or ten years or 50 years, and if they're always making each other priority or working to make each other a priority, you're going to find a fairly healthy relationship,
::Brandon Lopez
And I think to tie this one last point, I think to make this a beautiful analogy here
::Brandon Lopez
is that I think that is like absolutely depicted in the way that the Bible compares Jesus to the church, saying that he is the line in the lamb, in the church is his bride.
::Brandon Lopez
So, for instance, when we look at the story of the garden with the Serpent and Adam and Eve, Adam displayed more of a lamb. The serpent
::Pat and Sharmin McCalla
was more of a lion. Yeah. And that's not what
::Pat and Sharmin McCalla
right? Yeah,
::Pat and Sharmin McCalla
Yeah. Life
::Brandon Lopez
in the world, but a lamb with his
::Brandon Lopez
wife and his kids, his family.
::Pat and Sharmin McCalla
Yeah.
::Pat and Sharmin McCalla
now, the
::Pat and Sharmin McCalla
Yeah. So, yeah, well put. So
::Brandon Lopez
thank you so much for this conversation,
::Pat and Sharmin McCalla
Yeah. Thank you.
::Brandon Lopez
very special one, a very fun one. And
::Brandon Lopez
in the I guess, the bliss of romance Shaman asked you to lead us.
::Pat and Sharmin McCalla
yes, I had to write it down.
::Brandon Lopez
goes to no gray areas has a tradition. At the end of each podcast, we play a game of two truths and a lie.
::Brandon Lopez
Pat, you've done yours.
::Pat and Sharmin McCalla
Yes,
::Pat and Sharmin McCalla
But
::Pat and Sharmin McCalla
Not with you. So you have to guess her likeness. Yeah. Okay. Can we can we set the record straight, though, that I actually stumped you? You did not get off, but. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I just wanted to let the audience know that.
::Pat and Sharmin McCalla
Okay, go ahead. I know you are. Okay, Here it is.
::Pat and Sharmin McCalla
I've ridden a horse through a barbed wire fence, so my childhood dream was to be a professional barrel racer. And my first limo ride was in Hawaii.
::Brandon Lopez
So you're from Montana. So anything to do with horses makes sense. But I can understand why you put two of those in there to try to stop me.
::Pat and Sharmin McCalla
on those two.
::Brandon Lopez
So I'm going to go on a whim and say, Because you've gone to Hawaii a bunch, I don't ever recall you ever talking about being in one of them.
::Brandon Lopez
I'm going to say the limo is true.
::Pat and Sharmin McCalla
the limo is true.
::Brandon Lopez
All right, here we go.
::Brandon Lopez
I'm going to say
::Brandon Lopez
the first one's true barb wire to happen.
::Pat and Sharmin McCalla
It did.
::Pat and Sharmin McCalla
it did. Sorry, guys. Yes, now it did. Okay, so see if I can. The reason your lie,
::Pat and Sharmin McCalla
is you wanted to be a professional figure skater. I did? Yes. Yeah, I did.
::Pat and Sharmin McCalla
The Barrel Racer, though that was a good one,
::Pat and Sharmin McCalla
then.
::Pat and Sharmin McCalla
All you love like I love animals. Not I don't want them to live in my house.
::Pat and Sharmin McCalla
that. No, no.
::Pat and Sharmin McCalla
The other way. You could have known that number one was true is most kids that grew up in Montana rode a horse through barbed wire fence. It's annoying. Now, that's not true at all. That's not that's not true.
::Pat and Sharmin McCalla
That's true. Now, this was a just a very wily who grew up on a farm, very wily horse. You rode your farm, your little bike thing through a hornet's nest. You've rode a horseshoe, barbed wire. You lived a
::Pat and Sharmin McCalla
adventurous childhood. Yeah. Yeah.
::Brandon Lopez
And I actually chose that one. And I'm saying this out of just love and nothing judgmental, but since I've known you, you've had some clumsy
::Pat and Sharmin McCalla
moments.
::Pat and Sharmin McCalla
yeah. that mountain.
::Pat and Sharmin McCalla
I saved your life that time. I had a live audience. I literally had to tackle her and keep her from going off a cliff. Yeah,
::Pat and Sharmin McCalla
because it started with her just stumbling and then the stumbling turned in faster and faster and your fire started just laughing. Go. What are you doing, Mom? I go.
::Pat and Sharmin McCalla
I realized she's going to go off that cliff. I literally had a tackler.
::Pat and Sharmin McCalla
good point.
::Brandon Lopez
well, thank you so very
::Unknown
Yeah.
::Unknown
Thank you. Brandy. Yeah. Thanks to have a lot of fun. Yeah. Ballantine's day.
::Brandon Lopez
Thank you. Happy Valentine's Day.
::Host
What an episode. Thank you for tuning in to this exclusive Valentine's and stay episode with myself, my wife Sharman, and our son in law, Brandon Lopez. If you enjoyed this episode, make sure and leave us a five star review and we'll see you in two weeks for our next episode.
