The Unseen Battles of America’s First Responders | Ep. 127 with Tony Rodarte
In this week’s episode of the No Grey Areas Podcast, Pat McCalla sits down with retired 20-year homicide detective and founder of Compassion Alliance, Tony Rodarte, to talk about the unseen struggles behind the badge.
After twenty years on the job, Tony opens up about the toll law enforcement took on his faith, his marriage, and his mental health; and how learning to ask for help completely changed his life. What began as one man’s story of burnout has now become a mission to bring hope, healing, and support to first responders across the world. You’ll also hear a real-life testimony from a retired individual who shares how Tony’s previous podcast episode helped save him, as well as the one question you should always avoid asking a first responder.
As we recognize National First Responder Day on October 28th, this conversation is a powerful reminder that even our protectors need protecting and that true strength is found in vulnerability.
If you or someone you know is a first responder in need of support, visit https://compassion-alliance.org/ for more resources.
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No Grey Areas is a motivational podcast with captivating guests centered around how our choices humanize, empower, and define who we become. This podcast is inspired by the cautionary tale, No Grey Areas, written by Joseph Gagliano. Learn more about the truth behind his story involved with sports' biggest scandal at https://www.nogreyareas.com/
Transcript
Host
On today's episode of the No Gray Areas podcast, we're talking about first responders with Tony Rodarte, a retired homicide detective and founder of Compassion Alliance, an organization dedicated to supporting first responders and their families. After 20 years on the job, Tony knows the toll being a first responder can take on your faith, humanity, and hope for the future.
::Host
But today we have an honest conversation about asking for help. The importance of support and the right and wrong questions to ask. The first responders in our community. Let's jump in.
::Pat McCalla
Tony Rodarte. Welcome back to the No Gray Areas podcast. We're going to jump into your first podcast, your time with us
::Tony Rodarte
yeah,
::Pat McCalla
why we have you back. Other than popular demand, you were one of our most listened to one. So we appreciate that. But let me just I wanted to start off by by asking a really tough question.
::Tony Rodarte
Yeah. And
::Pat McCalla
before we turn these mics on, I,
::Pat McCalla
was prefacing this with you and you were like, don't ask that question of a first responder. So what I was going to ask you is like, what was your worst moment as a homicide detective?
::Tony Rodarte
Yeah,
::Pat McCalla
that's not a good question to ever ask, which I appreciate you you informing me and our audience.
::Pat McCalla
Now of that, tell us why that's not a good question to ask a first responder.
::Tony Rodarte
Yeah, well, for a couple reasons. Yeah. That's ideally not the best icebreaker.
::Pat McCalla
Yeah,
::Tony Rodarte
And secondly, be careful what you ask, because you might get an answer that you'll probably never be able to get out of your head.
::Tony Rodarte
So it's really important for me as I share and we talk and we got a lot to talk about. But there's one thing that I universally never do, and I just don't share any specifics on anything that I've been dealt with.
::Tony Rodarte
I have my own trauma in my life, and we'll talk about that. But there are things I've been involved with, images that I could share with you. And I promise you, they would never come out of your head.
::Tony Rodarte
quite frankly, nobody wins with that. So I do appreciate you asking it and reframing it so we could talk about it and
::Tony Rodarte
quite frankly, make it a learning experience for your other first responders.
::Pat McCalla
so for our audience. We have a lot of first responders that listen. And then we have a lot most of our audience aren't first responders.
::Tony Rodarte
Yeah.
::Pat McCalla
What would you suggest
::Pat McCalla
if they're interested in what a first responder is doing? You know, we usually want those kind of
::Tony Rodarte
stories.
::Tony Rodarte
Yeah. Sure. Like
::Pat McCalla
okay, give me like the really difficult story, the big story.
::Pat McCalla
But what's a better way to ask that question?
::Tony Rodarte
Yeah, maybe reframe it totally differently. Like what is your biggest takeaway.
::Tony Rodarte
What what was the best thing you did in your career. Something like that. Just reframe it in a positive way.
::Pat McCalla
So let me do this I'm gonna hit the rewind. This is
::Tony Rodarte
Okay.
::Pat McCalla
okay Tony. What was your biggest takeaway as a homicide detective.
::Tony Rodarte
Yeah, I don't want to talk about that. Totally kidding. Totally kidding. I,
::Tony Rodarte
Yeah, no, I would say,
::Tony Rodarte
I feel like in my career in law enforcement, I felt like I genuinely made a difference. I truly do, we were involved in some pretty difficult things in a homicide unit, but I feel like my unit,
::Tony Rodarte
we made a difference. We really, truly made a difference in the lives of some of these families that were negatively impact through death.
::Tony Rodarte
Yeah.
::Pat McCalla
I think one thing especially specifically what you dealt with as a first responder, as a homicide detective, and you're dealing with death all the time and having to go talk to families about death. How do you. Because I know you now, and you're such a positive, happy, joy filled person that if someone sat down and had lunch with you and didn't know all the stuff that you probably saw, how have you retained that?
::Pat McCalla
Or how do you not look at humanity with just.
::Tony Rodarte
Like I can answer that in one word. Yeah, retirement. It was an absolute game changer for me. Yeah, my story is.
::Pat McCalla
know you until after you
::Tony Rodarte
Right. So you only know this side.
::Pat McCalla
I would see I'd be sitting with a different Tony ten
::Tony Rodarte
Oh, absolutely. I probably wouldn't be sitting with you ten years ago.
::Tony Rodarte
yeah. So the job impacted me greatly to the point where I had to. I had to retire. I was able to hit my 20. I was able to successfully leave on my terms with a pension, but I was damaged goods. And that's what started the compassion Alliance.
::Tony Rodarte
It truly came out of my story.
::Tony Rodarte
But you fast forward now. I'm seven years out of retirement. The world is a happy place once again. I don't see all the negativity like I did. But you're in that homicide roll in. It's like Groundhog Day and it repeats every single day. You're just dealing with a different family.
::Tony Rodarte
You start questioning a lot of things.
::Tony Rodarte
You know, a lot of things.
::Pat McCalla
What kind of things? You start questioning.
::Tony Rodarte
Faith, start questioning humanity.
::Tony Rodarte
You know, we took homicides over the most ridiculous things that somebody took a human life over. And you just find yourself scratching your head going, why? Yeah, why does it have to be like this? But that's the world that we live in.
::Pat McCalla
often think that when we look at the humanity and especially, you're a man of faith as well. So we both come from a biblical worldview, but we look at humanity and we're the pinnacle of God's creation. We're creating this image. But of course, the beginning of the narrative, the beginning, the story. There's this fall in sin, tender sin enters the world.
::Pat McCalla
But I think we usually tell me, if you agree with this, I think we usually make one of two mistakes when we look at humans, either we start thinking like, oh, there's so bit like we see the news and we're like, oh, humans are so horrible and
::Pat McCalla
what they did. But I always say, like, every time you see like that one shooting or bombing or whatever, you're talking about, 1 or 2 people that did that.
::Tony Rodarte
Oh yeah, watch closely. You'll see a thousand
::Pat McCalla
other humans that are laying down their life or lining up to donate blood.
::Tony Rodarte
And so we 100% we go
::Pat McCalla
to
::Pat McCalla
one of two extremes. We either forget that there's a lot of good with humans because we're creating the image of God or the other extreme. We start thinking like, well, everybody's good, and we have no idea how depraved and evil
::Tony Rodarte
Yeah, I agree with you wholeheartedly. And I fell into that first category. I just stopped seeing the good. I think sometimes you're too close to the forest, you don't see the trees. And I just gave up. I'm like, because we're we're reliving this over and over and over. And for a man of faith, that's a dangerous place to be.
::Tony Rodarte
You start questioning a lot of things. So, like I said, for me, I had to retire. I was I was blessed enough to safely get through this career. And I had the opportunity to retire. It was it was a no brainer for me. So I'm a I'm a new guy now. I'm a changed creation now seven years after the fact.
::Tony Rodarte
So these are definitely different conversations than it would have looked like when I was in the thick of it.
::Pat McCalla
Well, I'm so happy to hear that because you're, you're we don't get to hang out so much because between the two of us, we both travel a
::Tony Rodarte
Yeah, absolutely. Yeah. How about lunch or.
::Pat McCalla
coffee? But when I do get together with you, you're just such a fun person to hang out with. And so it's hard for me to imagine that you're in.
::Pat McCalla
You were any different, but you're saying there was there would have been a difference
::Tony Rodarte
of.
::Tony Rodarte
Oh, yeah. Absolutely. Yeah,
::Tony Rodarte
One of these times we're going to get you to one of our presentations. You'll hear us speak, you'll hear Melody speak. You'll you'll get the true story of what it was like and the impact that it had, not only on me personally, but on our marriage, too. There was a time when our marriage was on life support.
::Tony Rodarte
Yeah, absolutely.
::Pat McCalla
and you were. You guys were going to church and you were in small
::Tony Rodarte
We have been actively involved with our church for ever
::Pat McCalla
and stuff,
::Tony Rodarte
Yeah.
::Pat McCalla
still with that,
::Tony Rodarte
Yeah.
::Pat McCalla
still saying there was just
::Tony Rodarte
So those support systems were only as good as a person reaching out and making it work. But you can be surrounded by support. But if you never ask for help or if you never take advantage of that, or if you never lean into it, you're never going to change.
::Tony Rodarte
And that's what I was encountering. That's what I was going through.
::Tony Rodarte
I wasn't willing to show any vulnerability. I wasn't willing to share the impact that it was having. So I was just going through the motions.
::Tony Rodarte
And I'm lucky I'm going to pause right now. I did this last time we had this podcast. I'm gonna do it right now. I'm going to pause and talk about my wife like she's an amazing human being and single handedly is the one that got me through this wacky, crazy job.
::Tony Rodarte
And still to this day, like, I'm absolutely blessed to have her. But I also acknowledge and realize that a lot of first responders don't have a rock of a spouse like I do. And those are the ones that we're really leaning into at the Compassion Alliance and trying to help out.
::Pat McCalla
By the way, we had Melody on this podcast as well. She is a rock
::Tony Rodarte
star. Yeah. Amazing stuff.
::Tony Rodarte
And yeah.
::Pat McCalla
she's a doctor here in Greater Phoenix and does some, some great stuff, but,
::Pat McCalla
so back us up here. Why did you even go into that? We want to get into the Compassion Alliance and what you're doing now and how you're helping
::Tony Rodarte
people.
::Pat McCalla
back up a little bit with your own story. What what brought you into law enforcement
::Tony Rodarte
and homicide?
::Tony Rodarte
Yeah.
::Tony Rodarte
So I appreciate that conversation or that question. I had always wanted to go into law enforcement since I was a little kid. And it's interesting because I've got adult children now. Excuse me. For the longest time, they didn't know what they wanted to do. I'm like, how? Why? What do you mean? Like, I knew from I was a little kid, Melody.
::Tony Rodarte
My wife knew when she was a little kid. You want to be a physician like we had? We knew that the game plan was what the framework look like.
::Tony Rodarte
So I knew early on, and I wanted to go into law enforcement because back then, like,
::Tony Rodarte
it's just a good, stable job. Yeah. Great benefits for a young adult.
::Tony Rodarte
I was making okay. Money,
::Tony Rodarte
And there was good job security. Yeah. There's never a shortage. Any point in time of knuckleheads.
::Tony Rodarte
Like.
::Tony Rodarte
There just isn't. There's always going to be a need for law enforcement. And so I jumped into it,
::Tony Rodarte
kind of with my eyes wide open. Didn't really know what I wanted to do. I started in patrol work, which is where everybody starts working midnight. And then was lucky enough to get into investigations as soon as I, you know, cut my teeth on investigations.
::Tony Rodarte
I'm like, well, I'm homicide. That's where I want to end up. I mean, there's
::Tony Rodarte
really no greater crime than the taking of a human life. There are some absolutely horrendous crimes that fall underneath that. But
::Tony Rodarte
I thought, here I am, let's go into the homicide world and see what that looks like.
::Pat McCalla
is there a character quality or gifts or talents that you have as a person that really helped you in that? Like did you did you like the interrogation part? Did you like the part about just trying to fit pieces of a puzzle together?
::Tony Rodarte
Yeah, I think I liked all of it, to be honest with you. And you get into really specified details like a homicide unit. You have detectives that are really good at certain things. Really good at interviews. Yeah, really good at phones, really good at writing paper, search warrants,
::Pat McCalla
Yeah.
::Tony Rodarte
but I enjoyed, I like I enjoyed working scenes.
::Tony Rodarte
Scenes were something I enjoyed kind of being that lead person that takes a scene and then kind of navigates
::Tony Rodarte
what's going on and where you're at.
::Tony Rodarte
What
::Pat McCalla
was it about that that that interested you? Is it again
::Pat McCalla
using that analogy of like you're trying to
::Pat McCalla
a puzzle
::Tony Rodarte
Yeah. Like there's so many unknowns when you're first going into it. Like
::Tony Rodarte
we have one known where we know we have a decedent over here. But there's so many variables that are unknown leading up to that. And a good homicide unit works very well because, like I said, you have so many detectives that are really good at different things, like we have detectives had I say we like I've been retired seven years.
::Tony Rodarte
When I present, I still talk about the Maricopa County Sheriff's Office. Like I'm there. I'm like, I'm long gone.
::Tony Rodarte
But you have detectives that are really good, really good in areas, and they'll jump in there and handle that, or really good at the technology part of it.
::Tony Rodarte
There's, there's so many different components. Yeah.
::Pat McCalla
Yeah.
::Pat McCalla
When did you start to realize that this was taking a toll on you.
::Tony Rodarte
So I was I, I share with this. I was ten feet tall and bulletproof about my first 15 years on the job. I would say it would be the tail end of that or homicide unit got into homicide and was there for, you know, a few years and realized, Holy cow. This is pretty savage, what we're seeing and dealing with.
::Pat McCalla
Do you think when you say it's the tail end of that, was it the accumulation of all that building
::Tony Rodarte
up?
::Tony Rodarte
Oh, yeah. Absolutely. Yeah. No, I took all that with me.
::Tony Rodarte
And I had a wife at home who was saying this might be a bit much. This might be time to talk to somebody. And I just come from that old school mentality where I just wasn't going to talk to anybody.
::Pat McCalla
was she starting to say that to you?
::Tony Rodarte
Probably about 15 years on. Yeah, I would say about my last five years, really my last
::Tony Rodarte
3 to 4 years started getting tough. But I knew there was an exit plan, and she gave me the grace to retire at 20 and then go get help. And that's what we did. I knew I had my exit plan was very, very black and white, and it was huge.
::Tony Rodarte
I knew exactly what it was going to consist of.
::Tony Rodarte
I just wish that I had listened to her and went and got help a little sooner.
::Pat McCalla
yeah.
::Tony Rodarte
because this is what I learned in the healing journey. I'm not nearly as broken as I thought I was. I thought I was damaged goods, I didn't think I was repairable, and I learned very quickly in the healing process.
::Tony Rodarte
I'm totally fine. I'm a little jacked up. I'm a little bent, but the right tools, the right person to talk to. And I was a new person.
::Tony Rodarte
Yeah,
::Pat McCalla
What? If you don't mind me asking this, what were some signs that she started seeing? And I'm asking this because I'm just thinking maybe there's some first responders listening
::Tony Rodarte
Yeah, some of
::Pat McCalla
the spouses of a first or family of first responder.
::Pat McCalla
What were some things that you started noticing about yourself, or she started noticing in these last five years of your career that were warning flags that you might need to
::Tony Rodarte
get some help?
::Tony Rodarte
Yeah, I think the biggest one or the most noticeable one. And now that I'm talking out loud about this, it probably wasn't even the last five. It was really the last several that were really, really tough. But
::Tony Rodarte
absenteeism was becoming an absent dad. Like, I wasn't involved. I wasn't at the sporting events. I wasn't at dinner.
::Tony Rodarte
Like
::Pat McCalla
weren't even physically there, or you weren't mentally there
::Tony Rodarte
Yeah. Yes.
::Tony Rodarte
Both of those. Yeah. Both of those. So there were a lot of times physically when I wasn't there just because of the call volume. We just weren't around. Missed a lot of holidays, a lot of birthdays, anniversaries. But then when I was there really wasn't there because I really didn't want to engage socially. I didn't want to go out with friends.
::Tony Rodarte
I didn't really want to go to my kiddos sporting event because then I'd have to talk to people.
::Tony Rodarte
The world became very, very people.
::Pat McCalla
Would you have been able to articulate that at the time? Do you think,
::Tony Rodarte
that
::Pat McCalla
said, you don't seem like you really want to be here,
::Pat McCalla
would you have been able to identify
::Tony Rodarte
that?
::Tony Rodarte
Yeah.
::Tony Rodarte
Oh, yeah. I knew it was true. I don't know that I'd engage in the conversation. Maybe it depends on who's bringing it to my attention. You know, we try to have this conversation with Melody. If compassion Alliance existed back when I needed help the most, would I have sought help then? I don't know, yeah,
::Tony Rodarte
Maybe. Maybe not.
::Pat McCalla
So you brought up, I think, a really important point. And this isn't just audience. Please hear this. This isn't just for first responders. I think it's for any of us that need help. And we all need help
::Tony Rodarte
Oh, yeah. Absolutely.
::Tony Rodarte
You
::Pat McCalla
brought up that you had these when I was talking about, like you were involved in church and small groups and stuff like that, and you said, yes, I was, but I wasn't reaching out for help.
::Pat McCalla
What
::Pat McCalla
was inhibiting you from reaching out from help? And what do you think inhibits others from reaching out to help? I think there used to be kind of a,
::Pat McCalla
in the, first responders world, veterans world.
::Pat McCalla
There is this mindset of like, I'm supposed to be tough and, you
::Tony Rodarte
yeah, sure.
::Pat McCalla
for help.
::Pat McCalla
Is that
::Tony Rodarte
there was and it's still there a little bit, but it's changing. It's definitely changing, but it's still there. It's absolutely still there. I think, for me, I she didn't know how to ask for help. Like I was never educated on that process. Nobody ever took the time to say, you know what? If you decide you want help, this is how you do it.
::Tony Rodarte
Just just do it and find a good close friend, a coworker, a spouse, whoever you trust and just ask for help. Just start at one person. Like, I just never had those conversations, so I really didn't know how to do it or what to do. And in the back of my mind, I kept telling myself I'm okay. Like I'm fine.
::Tony Rodarte
I'm not suicidal. Like I'm okay. I'll be all right.
::Pat McCalla
Do you think the stigma you mentioned that you think it's changing some, but there's, there was a stigma of like, well, I got to be careful asking for help because if I go ask for help, then I look like damaged goods.
::Tony Rodarte
Yeah, sure.
::Pat McCalla
going to go apply for another job. But they see that I've been in counseling and then they're not going to want to hire me.
::Pat McCalla
Is that is that true? Is that kind of the way the mindset
::Tony Rodarte
So it really work like that back in the day, like I went through the police academy in the 90s, it was a different world.
::Tony Rodarte
The police academies are totally different now. And we're I'm confident we're having these conversations. We're talking about this stuff. But for my demographic, we weren't and we kind of grew up policing ourselves like these.
::Tony Rodarte
We don't talk about this
::Tony Rodarte
like we're paying you to solve crimes, not to share your emotions. Like, let's just take care of business.
::Pat McCalla
My, son and daughter handed me down because it my my daughter was in the Marine Corps too, but they handed me down the the the the comment on the Marine Corps always has a reading list. Every year he's got,
::Tony Rodarte
like, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yep.
::Pat McCalla
they know that I love reading. So they would give me books to read.
::Pat McCalla
And there was a book I can't remember who it was, but a sociologist and, he wrote a book called On Killing
::Tony Rodarte
Oh, yeah. Lieutenant Colonel Dave Grossman.
::Tony Rodarte
Oh, you know. Yeah, yeah.
::Pat McCalla
Okay.
::Pat McCalla
And so he talks about that whole and he's, he's mainly talking about soldiers.
::Tony Rodarte
Oh, yeah.
::Tony Rodarte
Absolutely. Yeah.
::Pat McCalla
going like
::Pat McCalla
we've gotten we were really, really good at training people to do their job.
::Pat McCalla
Like soldiers to go kill if they needed to kill or first responders go do their
::Tony Rodarte
job. What. We're
::Pat McCalla
not good at when he was writing this book is saying is actually protecting or helping them when they come
::Tony Rodarte
back. Yeah. Dealing with
::Pat McCalla
that human that's coming back
::Tony Rodarte
Oh absolutely.
::Pat McCalla
job that we trained them to do well,
::Tony Rodarte
yeah.
::Tony Rodarte
100%. Yeah. That's a that's a powerful book. And I've been lucky enough to hear him present live at some other, venues. And it's incredible what he's sharing because there's so much truth to that. There's a lot of soul searching, you know, as a as a soldier or as a first responder, like, I as a first responder. I was like, I, I had to ask myself, am I prepared to take a human life?
::Tony Rodarte
Am I capable of taking a human life? My answer was yes. And if it wasn't, I wouldn't have stayed in law enforcement. You just can't. I'm not going to put myself in that position to get somebody else hurt, because I'm not going to react appropriately. But you never excuse me. You never truly know until you're in that encounter and you're going to rise to your highest level of training for that scenario.
::Pat McCalla
You know, and I don't know if I got this, this terminology from you or not. In their first podcast, when you were with or with us or one of the meals that we shared together, but you were talking about protecting the protectors, I think that was you. And I love that, that terminology
::Tony Rodarte
that yeah,
::Pat McCalla
we train and every city and community have these protectors, that we have these first responders.
::Pat McCalla
Or we can also say soldiers if we're talking to military, but they're they're the ones that are protecting our society
::Tony Rodarte
Yeah. And
::Pat McCalla
defending our society. But we have to protect them then, because as as you're sharing a typical first responder, whether you're a fireman or a policeman or a homicide detective or an E.R. nurse, you're dealing with a lot of times the worst moments in people's lives,
::Tony Rodarte
hands down.
::Tony Rodarte
Absolutely.
::Pat McCalla
almost on a daily
::Pat McCalla
and seeing some of the worst moments of of humanity. And so just again, I think of that accumulative effect. So you
::Pat McCalla
served for 20 years
::Tony Rodarte
you know,
::Pat McCalla
the number of things and the number of,
::Pat McCalla
issues that you would have piled up over that time. And that's true of any first responders.
::Pat McCalla
And I
::Tony Rodarte
And this is what the general public doesn't realize, just how violent the world is that we live in. Like
::Tony Rodarte
when I share and we present, like I tell people, whatever that number looks like to you or whatever you think it is. So I'll tell you this.
::Tony Rodarte
However violent you think the world is, it's ten times worse.
::Tony Rodarte
It truly is. Like there's things going on lurking in the evening that the general public has no idea the evil that's out there in our society. Yeah.
::Pat McCalla
And that goes back to your point that no wonder then, because you're dealing with that on a daily basis. No wonder you started getting a tainted view. A little bit of you meant like you brought it up earlier where you said like, man. Toward the end, I didn't really see the good in humanity anymore. I was really looking around going,
::Pat McCalla
Do people do anything other than just depraved things
::Tony Rodarte
You, just you become calloused. You just get exposed to it
::Tony Rodarte
again and again and again. He just kind of like just I, I give like, if this is it, I.
::Tony Rodarte
Give
::Pat McCalla
So how do you, you just brought up. You said you get callous to it. And I think the reality is, is you can't do your job as a first responder if you don't like, like right now I'm stepping into a scene and I can't deal with all the emotions. I got to set them aside. I got to do my job.
::Pat McCalla
So you actually
::Pat McCalla
have to have calluses,
::Tony Rodarte
So I don't know that you need to be callous per se, but you have to be able to separate yourself. You have to be able to separate yourself. So I was really so
::Tony Rodarte
callous, like for me when I got calloused and I eventually got there, I didn't care,
::Pat McCalla
okay?
::Tony Rodarte
I just I'd given up, separating myself.
::Tony Rodarte
It was compartmentalizing. So I would go home and I would try to be the best dad that I could, the best husband that I could
::Tony Rodarte
like in my social circle. Like I was never identified as a homicide cop. I was, I didn't want I really didn't have any court friends. I didn't I don't want to talk about it.
::Tony Rodarte
I just wanted to be a dad, and I wanted to be a husband. And I did that as long as I could. I held out as long as I could, but at some point, the exposure is so great, you just kind of lose. You lose that. And that's when I became more callous and I, I, I wasn't able to compartmentalize like I once was, or I thought I was, but my wife was calling me out going, no, you're not.
::Tony Rodarte
Nice try. Yeah.
::Pat McCalla
What made you finally go in? You've mentioned before on your first podcast, it was really your wife and you
::Tony Rodarte
Yeah, it was 100% my wife.
::Pat McCalla
did she get to the point where she was like going, you go get help or we're getting help together or something? Or like, was it.
::Tony Rodarte
My wife gave me an ultimatum.
::Pat McCalla
Okay. She did.
::Tony Rodarte
she's like, you're going to get help or I'm going to leave you.
::Pat McCalla
Wow.
::Tony Rodarte
And I wasn't willing to be left behind by her. And so she gave me the grace, to retire. When she gave me that ultimatum. We were we're at the end at 18 months, maybe a year to go, and I knew I needed help. She's like, look, you know, you need help.
::Tony Rodarte
I know you need help. Your children know you need help. We'll let you retire at your 20. But if you choose to stay on, you're going to be single.
::Tony Rodarte
And that's what I needed. I was having a difficult time making that decision for myself, because
::Tony Rodarte
there's a lot that comes with that is as dysfunctional as it was.
::Tony Rodarte
Like there's still some stability that comes with it professionally. But I knew, I knew I needed to get out of there. And she she was amazing because that's exactly what I needed, because if she left it to me,
::Tony Rodarte
I keep trying to make it work, massaging into this thing that I could, I could do both roles and I couldn't.
::Tony Rodarte
I had to get out there and I'm thankful she did. I'm a changed man because of it. We're doing amazing things with compassion. It's because of it. My marriage, we just celebrated 27 years because of that ultimatum. Not not because of me. Yeah. Thank you.
::Pat McCalla
Yeah, yeah. So when she gave you that ultimatum wasn't an ultimatum to retire or was an ultimatum to get help, or were those
::Tony Rodarte
Yeah, it was an ultimatum to get help.
::Pat McCalla
Okay.
::Tony Rodarte
Which for me was came with retirement, so I wanted to retire and then go get help. She she would have let me stay on as long as I was getting help. I just I just severed it all like it's time.
::Pat McCalla
Because I think this is important for our listeners to hear and even a first responders that are listening, did you go kicking and screaming or at that
::Tony Rodarte
point, no.
::Pat McCalla
Okay, so you went ready
::Tony Rodarte
I was ready to go receive
::Tony Rodarte
Yeah. Yeah.
::Tony Rodarte
She's probably a.
::Tony Rodarte
Yeah, you have to be you have to be ready and you have to want it. And you got to be part of the process. Because if you're not, if your wife is making you do this, it's not going to work. Yeah. We get requests like that occasionally. We don't get many in the compassion alliance now, but I would have spouses reach out.
::Tony Rodarte
I need help my husband. That's great. But if your husband ready for help. Well, no, but I'm ready. Well, I'm sorry. We'd be happy to help you, but I'm not going to help an unwilling participant. Part of your healing journey is owning it and realizing the time is now.
::Tony Rodarte
Which is also an important component when these first responders reach out.
::Tony Rodarte
We're making same day touches.
::Tony Rodarte
Like when I was ready for help, I was ready for help. Don't put me on the back burner. Don't get back to me. Three days from when I say I'm ready to go.
::Tony Rodarte
Perfect. Case in point, we took in two requests this morning. One from Georgia, one from Iowa, same day touches. It's important that we do same day touches again.
::Tony Rodarte
It all comes out of my story. But when somebody reaches help, the time is now. It's not. It's not. Oh that's great. That's an awesome decision. We'll get back to you in a week.
::Pat McCalla
so let's go to Compassion Alliance then.
::Pat McCalla
What did you see? I'm in a moment. We're going to come back. I want you to explain a little bit about what it is you've touched on it some. But what was the gap that you saw that you and your wife saw where you're saying, we need we need to create this nonprofit?
::Speaker 1
Hey, we hope you've enjoyed this episode so far. Be sure to like and subscribe to not miss a future podcast! Okay, let's get back to the episode.
::Tony Rodarte
I felt like, again, this all goes back to my personal story. And I want to be really clear here, too.
::Tony Rodarte
So I retired from the Maricopa County Sheriff's Office. I bleed county brown. I love the sheriff's office. They molded me into the adult that I am now.
::Tony Rodarte
I'm confident. Had I asked them for help, they would have given me help, but I wasn't going to ask.
::Tony Rodarte
It just wasn't in my DNA.
::Tony Rodarte
it's just it's very different now. I believe that, you know,
::Tony Rodarte
younger demographic of our law enforcement guys are getting help quicker, and there's more support. There's more agency support.
::Tony Rodarte
It's it's more mainstream now. Is it totally mainstream? No, but we're at least going in the right direction. So all of that came out of my story, and I apologize. What was the first question to get me down this rabbit hole?
::Pat McCalla
saw the gap.
::Tony Rodarte
Saw the.
::Tony Rodarte
Gap so.
::Tony Rodarte
That you
::Pat McCalla
saw that you guys wanted to
::Tony Rodarte
Yeah. So when I was at that darkest hour of my professional life, there was no hand reaching out for help. For me. There was nobody advocating for me. There was nobody advocating for my marriage. And that's what we're trying to do. I apologize, we talked about that. These are still hot topics. And here I jump right down that rabbit hole.
::Tony Rodarte
But it was just an entity, a person, an organization, something saying, you matter, your marriage matters. Your life matters. Like, let's get you some help.
::Tony Rodarte
And this is seven years later. I'm still oddly emotional talking about it. That's what we're trying to do. We just want to be somebody that advocates for these people because they're not broken.
::Tony Rodarte
And that's a hot topic, too. Like, it just kind of bent, just need a little bit of help. And that's what we're doing. So that was the biggest need. Just somebody a safe place saying you have value. We care deeply about you. How can we help? How can we come alongside you? And then the other part of that, and that's what we're trying to do now, is just continuing to advocate for our first responders, just have these conversations like this podcast.
::Tony Rodarte
These are much more mainstream. These weren't
::Tony Rodarte
I or I wasn't exposed to them when I went to the police academy in the 90s, I wasn't exposed to these topics or these these types of conversations.
::Pat McCalla
And they're so incredible. There's so important
::Tony Rodarte
Yeah, we
::Pat McCalla
need them. And again, I go back to that line. We have to protect our protectors. We have to we must, we must.
::Tony Rodarte
I share with our board and they're probably sick of hearing this.
::Tony Rodarte
But they're going to continue to hear it. I truly believe in the work that we're doing. We are saving lives. We are saving marriages, and I know we are. I'm getting the communication back from the first responders.
::Tony Rodarte
We are provided services to first responders that have been on the backside.
::Tony Rodarte
Come back to me and said
::Tony Rodarte
that prevented me from taking my life. And that's powerful because all the first responders were helping. Like, they're stable. They're not suicidal. Like there's a different set of rules you have to play by when somebody's suicidal. We're not getting that. That's not shared. We're just providing our service. We're loving on them.
::Tony Rodarte
But then they come back and share that or they're sharing our our marriage was hanging on by fibers, fibers. And we're now back together. I had this happen where we've been separated. We're now back together. Like it's powerful stuff.
::Tony Rodarte
It's
::Pat McCalla
rewarding to hear those
::Tony Rodarte
It absolutely is. And I and I share with my board, I don't share all of it because I gotta be careful, I don't. I don't I don't want to inundate my board. They're amazing. And we're able to do amazing things because of them. But they need this by and they need to know what we're doing and the direct impact when we get together.
::Tony Rodarte
And we pray over these first responders and we're making decisions financially, this is the impact that we're having. This is what's coming out of that.
::Pat McCalla
reat theologian, philosopher,: ::Tony Rodarte
we've
::Pat McCalla
all listeners, all of you have seen a time where maybe you went through a divorce and now you can walk with someone who's going through a divorce like no one else
::Tony Rodarte
can.
::Tony Rodarte
Yeah, absolutely.
::Pat McCalla
child, and now you can walk with someone who lost a child like no one else can.
::Pat McCalla
You were a first responder and you're dealing with. So you running this organization and sitting down and picking up the phone or emailing back like you had today. Some of these people, you're able to do that in a way that I couldn't just because they know immediately you get me.
::Tony Rodarte
Yeah. Oh yeah. Absolutely. No, I know in a 32nd conversation whether or not you've been a first responder, and we get this question to oftentimes from donors like, how do we know we're really helping first responders, like, how do we know we're not taking advantage of like,
::Tony Rodarte
it's we do a lengthy vetting process. And so that kind of a safety net for us.
::Tony Rodarte
But I know in a quick conversation, I know whether or not you've ever worn a badge, whether or not you've ever been on an ambulance or fire truck, or dispatch telecommunications. We help out dispatch to. I believe that dispatch are truly our first first responders. And I know from a very quick phone call with them or even an email, you're answering the questions, right?
::Tony Rodarte
Yep. You've obviously done this job. Yeah, you can absolutely tell.
::Pat McCalla
I never really thought about dispatchers, but just some of the documentaries you watch or something and you hear a dispatcher having a phone call with someone in a, in a tough situation like, oh my goodness, the trauma they must deal with. I didn't think about.
::Tony Rodarte
that.
::Tony Rodarte
As a young deputy, I'm convinced that the actions of the dispatcher working, priority traffic, we were working a murder suicide in progress, and she saved my life. I would have walked into an ambush, but she heard what was going on in the background. She was able to.
::Tony Rodarte
She was able to get me information that changed my entry into the residence.
::Tony Rodarte
And the suspect took his own life in front of me. But he didn't take my life just from hearing. Because they do these callbacks. Your work in priority traffic, they'll switch over to a channel. They've got one hysterical 911 caller on the call. You've got other callers doing playbacks, trying to hear what are they hearing in the background, other noise, or they're other people.
::Tony Rodarte
She was able to relay some information.
::Tony Rodarte
I will never underestimate the work of telecommunications dispatchers. Absolutely, absolutely. And they are they're not thanked enough as far as I'm concerned. And I truly believe they are the first first responder when when, you know, neighbors pulling a child out of the pool, it's the dispatcher telling them how to do CPR, assuring them that the paramedics are in route.
::Tony Rodarte
The fire trucks come in like when you've got that, you know, a violent confrontation at your residence or somebody outside with a firearm. It's that dispatcher calming you down, getting all the details of what's going on, and assuring that caller that help is coming.
::Tony Rodarte
I don't know how they do it. I'm thankful they do it.
::Tony Rodarte
I don't know that I could do it, but I'm thankful that they can.
::Pat McCalla
But if we just if we just go off of one of them and use, theoretical story to help our audience understand what you're referring to. So, you know, we've all probably seen the documentaries or the news stories where you hear a dispatcher talking to someone who's, you know, screaming because they pulled their child out or whatever. Now they're going to go home and they're going to sit out down to dinner, and they've maybe had 2 or 3 calls like
::Tony Rodarte
that, two
::Pat McCalla
or more, and they're sitting at dinner with their family and are supposed to all of a sudden shut that off and sit down.
::Pat McCalla
And you talked about where early on you could compartmentalize, but over time it was more and more difficult to do that. But isn't the audience that maybe isn't involved as first responders just
::Pat McCalla
that scenario would help us maybe go, wow, that is got to be difficult. What you deal
::Tony Rodarte
with.
::Tony Rodarte
Yeah, absolutely.
::Pat McCalla
to compartmentalize.
::Tony Rodarte
Yeah. In those images they don't go away. Those calls, those voices. Everything like for our first responder, the smells on certain scenes, that never goes away. And then also for our dispatchers and truthfully, with our, our first responders to fire and police and EMS, you don't always have resolution, you don't always know what happened. And and quite frankly, most of them I didn't always want to know, like, I don't want to know if they perished like they were alive when we got them out of the car, did it turn fatal?
::Tony Rodarte
Probably. I don't personally want to know.
::Tony Rodarte
But you never really have total resolution on what took place or. Yeah. Yeah.
::Pat McCalla
So, Tony, tell us specifically
::Pat McCalla
is compassion Alliance
::Tony Rodarte
Yes. We're a 500 and C3. We're based here in Arizona, which is where you and I are having this conversation. And we provide trauma therapy services to first responders. And we do this all over the country.
::Tony Rodarte
again, everything came out of our story. We thought we were going to be helping a few local first responders.
::Tony Rodarte
And
::Tony Rodarte
it's just morphed into this bigger thing because it's not in the Arizona thing. It's United States of America issue with trauma therapy for first responders. So it's just continue to grow and grow and grow. We are in September. We are about 160 for the year. People that we've helped throughout the country will probably in somewhere between 175 ish 200, probably closer to 175.
::Pat McCalla
175 human souls
::Pat McCalla
their lives, may their marriages may be different. Their the way they parent their kids may be different. How they interact with their spouse, with other people, like you said, maybe even their physical life.
::Tony Rodarte
Yeah. And
::Pat McCalla
suicide. 175 souls.
::Tony Rodarte
yeah, that's our 175 is our projection for this year, this calendar year. Like I said, we're we're just shy 160 right now with the two we took in.
::Tony Rodarte
And I'll share with you, like we can talk high level. I'm happy to talk like states. What I'll never share is like, cities, municipalities, agencies, anything like that.
::Tony Rodarte
But high level.
::Tony Rodarte
Yeah. It's it's it's powerful.
::Pat McCalla
I think it's important for audience to know. Why wouldn't you want to share some of these details?
::Tony Rodarte
Because that's it's a need to know basis. And you don't need to know. We're trying to protect our first responders and we're not trying to we are protecting our first responders. And we will continue to protect our first responders. They're not reaching out to us because they want that information to be disclosed to their agency or any of that stuff.
::Tony Rodarte
So we share no details.
::Pat McCalla
And it's part of the reason you do that's why you got into this, right. Is
::Pat McCalla
so correct me if I'm wrong, but when someone reaches out, let's say I was a first responder.
::Pat McCalla
podcast,
::Pat McCalla
I pick up the phone and I call the number that you're going to give us in a little bit, or I reach out via email and I say, hey, I need help.
::Pat McCalla
You're going to do what for
::Tony Rodarte
me?
::Tony Rodarte
Yeah. So it's interesting because the last time we had this podcast, which
::Tony Rodarte
I had maybe three years ago to 2 or 3 years ago, so we were handling it that way, email or give us a call. We don't even handle it that way based on the volume that we're getting. So we push everybody to our website because it's all tracked electronically and that's that's our safety net to make sure nobody falls through the loops.
::Tony Rodarte
We have we have to handle it that way. So even if we get a phone call or I get an email, I'm pushing them to the website. I don't handle any of that. The volume is way too much. Back when we started, they were coming in sporadically here and there. I could handle it. I wouldn't miss an email, things like that, but the volumes too.
::Tony Rodarte
Great. So, how do we do that? So, when they reach out, I ask them, well, we ask them electronically and through the automations that they'll get for, 72 hours here back for me. And that gives me the opportunity to, find and vet somebody in the state or city that they're requesting help in. Now,
::Tony Rodarte
if they're in some of these states that we operate, we do a bigger volume in.
::Tony Rodarte
It's a it's a much quicker process, but they might reach out in a state we've never operated in. And that might take me more than 72 hours. And I just stay in contact with them, because on the back end I've got to find a therapist. I've got to vet them, make sure that they're culturally competent to work with first responders.
::Tony Rodarte
I got to negotiate my pricing. I got to do a lot of stuff in the back end so that I can then do that email introduction between the first responder and the therapist.
::Pat McCalla
if that was me reaching out, if I
::Tony Rodarte
and
::Pat McCalla
responder, that was me reaching out, you would get back to me. Then after you done all that work and you'd connect me
::Pat McCalla
to this therapist. But now you saw what Compassion Alliance is doing is you're going to
::Tony Rodarte
pay.
::Tony Rodarte
We just pay for the services. So what that would look like is you would reach out through the website, you would get the same touch from somebody from the board. Most likely it's going to be me. And I'd say, hey, Pat, I appreciate you reaching out. You matter to us. You have value. Hang tight. Let me work on getting this arranged, and then I'll be back in contact with you.
::Tony Rodarte
And then when I circle back, I'll do an email introduction between you and the therapist. And then I introduce both of you. I supply our rules, if you will, and they're very basic, but they're spelled out basically says that I'm not going to pay for late fees. I'm not. You can't go anywhere you want. You can only go with this group because they're vetted and verified by us.
::Tony Rodarte
We've already negotiated pricing.
::Tony Rodarte
I haven't verified any of your information, but they will. That's a very standard process. So I just kind of spell that out for them. And then I tell them, like, I'm really not going to be involved from here on out, you communicate directly with your therapist, keep me off the emails for privacy.
::Tony Rodarte
And I'm just here to foot the bills. And that's what we do. Those those therapists will then invoice us and we handle
::Tony Rodarte
all the financial parts of it. No. So there is so that their agency doesn't even know. Nobody knows such an important. Oh, absolutely.
::Pat McCalla
some of that one of the things that holds a lot of first responders back
::Tony Rodarte
you know, again,
::Pat McCalla
it's like I've got 15 years left in my career and I don't want it to look like I'm broken.
::Tony Rodarte
Yeah.
::Tony Rodarte
Now, you know, and I tell people like, you don't have to tell anybody.
::Tony Rodarte
Occasionally we get a first responder who doesn't want to tell a spouse, like, I don't. I don't love that. But that's okay. If that's the only way we're going to get you help, it's okay. We'll meet you where you're at, and we'll we'll get you help.
::Tony Rodarte
But yeah, we don't we don't disclose anything. Privacy is really, really important. We have this trust with these first responders. And quite frankly, it's taken us years to get there. I'm not going to jeopardize anything.
::Pat McCalla
Can you are you able to share? I get what you just totally said about you're not. And I and I man so much respect for that to shoot that you want to to have their privacy
::Tony Rodarte
Yeah,
::Pat McCalla
But can you share a story just leaving some generic just being generic about it, but a story of how you've helped,
::Tony Rodarte
Yeah.
::Pat McCalla
first responder.
::Tony Rodarte
So we did this podcast and then we got a request for help that came in after this aired. And I'm going to share an audio clip that you're going to be able to hear. And it's
::Tony Rodarte
for all the lawyers that are out there, we have consent. It's been edited. You're not getting names or phone numbers or anything that's going to be shared in it, but you're going to see the power of this retired first responder.
::Tony Rodarte
he's talking about a talk, but it's the podcast that you and I did several years ago. This is what he shared with us. I want you to hear that. So you see the rawness and the emotion where.
::Pat McCalla
you're getting that and setting it up. Let me just review for our audience. So we did a podcast 2 or 3 years ago. You and I sat down. You were explaining a lot of things that you are again today. And, this guy heard the podcast and reached out and this is
::Pat McCalla
the type of thing that you get all the time.
::Tony Rodarte
Yeah.
::Pat McCalla
175 that you're helping this year, it would be similar to this,
::Tony Rodarte
This is a recording of the guy
::Pat McCalla
that.
::Pat McCalla
Called
::Tony Rodarte
Yeah, this is a recording. Again I want to overemphasize we have consent to share this. And they're not all like this. They're not all emotional like this. But this was raw. This is what this guy was going with. He'd been retired for a long time.
::Tony Rodarte
Just because you retire, that trauma doesn't retire. It doesn't go away. You don't get to leave that with your agency.
::Tony Rodarte
It comes with you.
::Pat McCalla
And you can hear it in his voice.
::Tony Rodarte
Oh, yeah. Absolutely.
::Speaker 1
Hello and I'm a retired police officer.
::Speaker 1
I just watched one of your talks. I need to.
::Speaker 1
Please give me a call. God bless you.
::Tony Rodarte
Yeah. Again, this is an extreme example, a very emotional example. And they're not all like that, but I just I want you I want your audience to know that outreach a podcast can have. You don't know who's on the receiving end of that. This is a guy who's been retired for a long time and just been carrying that trauma with him, and we were able to help him.
::Tony Rodarte
And it's fantastic. But it's it's it's real.
::Tony Rodarte
It's real
::Pat McCalla
Tony, I
::Pat McCalla
I hear the emotion in his voice, and I think it makes it worth it, doesn't it?
::Tony Rodarte
Oh, absolutely.
::Tony Rodarte
Makes
::Pat McCalla
it worth it for you. It makes it worth it for us. Our team were going if there was this
::Pat McCalla
if this podcast was we've been doing it for four years now and we have 130 episodes or so.
::Pat McCalla
If that one guy's life that that makes it all worth it. And we know that there's far more than one or for you with Compassion Alliance, if that one guy's life was all you impacted, it makes it worth it. But there's way more
::Tony Rodarte
it.
::Tony Rodarte
There's way more. You know, we we naively
::Tony Rodarte
started this process with Compassion Alliance the same year. I retired and Melody and I, my wife kind of took the stance if we if we help one person, it's worth it because there are days at full disclosure, I want to wave the white flag. It's a lot of work. Nobody
::Tony Rodarte
me how much work of 500 and C3 is running it.
::Tony Rodarte
And what you have to do, and you look at the volume that we're helping. There's days when I just I don't know if I can keep going. But then we have these encounters and we get this feedback where lives are being saved and marriages are being saved, and we're like, it's absolutely worth it. And we will keep going.
::Tony Rodarte
And that's that's where we are. We have grown significantly since we both have grown. Your podcast has grown significantly. Our organization has grown significantly since our last podcast.
::Pat McCalla
It's exciting to see and man, Tony melody I'll talk to your wife too, even though she's not sitting next to you. Because I know she's the, co-founder of this.
::Tony Rodarte
And. Yeah,
::Pat McCalla
just thank you, thank you, thank you for what you're doing. I there's a special place in my heart. Joe gagliano who? This podcast. This this is his
::Tony Rodarte
podcast.
::Tony Rodarte
Yeah.
::Pat McCalla
It's a special place in his heart. His dad was a police
::Tony Rodarte
officer. Yeah.
::Pat McCalla
so he
::Pat McCalla
saw firsthand, you know, what first responders deal with. But, I have a special place in my heart for first responders. And I appreciate so much what you're doing. And I want to use that phrase again. We must, we must we must protect our protectors.
::Pat McCalla
We must,
::Tony Rodarte
Yeah. What they
::Pat McCalla
see and deal with every day.
::Pat McCalla
Gosh, we got to do something, and you're doing something. So I want to tell our audience, I'm going to ask you how they can connect with your organization.
::Pat McCalla
I know it's always hard to ask for money, so I'm going to ask
::Tony Rodarte
for more.
::Tony Rodarte
Yeah.
::Pat McCalla
Compassion alliance doesn't happen without, donations.
::Pat McCalla
That doesn't happen. Like, what you're doing is you're providing, free counseling and therapy for these first responders,
::Tony Rodarte
Yeah,
::Pat McCalla
comes from donor money. So,
::Tony Rodarte
it's free for them, but it costs us money.
::Tony Rodarte
Yeah.
::Pat McCalla
So if you want to, an organization to give to Compassion Alliance would be a great one. And I know Tony and Melody, and I know they use the money well. And you are. I mean, you talk about your dollars having an immediate impact. It is in this case. So
::Tony Rodarte
Yeah,
::Pat McCalla
get Ahold, whether it be someone who wants to donate, whether it be someone who has a first responder
::Pat McCalla
they want to connect with you, or a first responder that wants to
::Tony Rodarte
Everything. Whether you want to listen to this podcast, whether you want to donate, whether you want to seek assistance for somebody, it all goes through our website, compassion Dash Alliance, dot org. You can find everything that you need on that compassion-alliance.org. And I also want to give you for our our audience that can see you shout out to that good looking shirt that you're wearing today.
::Pat McCalla
I dug in my closet. I've almost worn the shirt out though because when I find a shirt I like, I
::Tony Rodarte
wear, it does look.
::Tony Rodarte
Like it's been worn several.
::Tony Rodarte
Times.
::Pat McCalla
But yes, it's it's your shirt. I'm repping your
::Tony Rodarte
Yeah, I.
::Tony Rodarte
Appreciate.
::Tony Rodarte
That.
::Pat McCalla
calling that
::Tony Rodarte
Yeah.
::Tony Rodarte
I forgot it looks great.
::Pat McCalla
it.
::Pat McCalla
You should be a podcast host. Tony.
::Tony Rodarte
Yeah. No, that that is your wheelhouse, man. I've got my hands full and everything else that I have going on right now.
::Tony Rodarte
Podcast.
::Pat McCalla
we're really good one.
::Pat McCalla
what keeps you hopeful? Now I want to, before we have fun with the two truths and a lie.
::Tony Rodarte
Yeah,
::Pat McCalla
end on a on a hopeful note.
::Speaker 1
As we're wrapping up this episode. Be sure to leave us a five star review. And if you're watching on YouTube, leave a comment on something you'll take away. All right, let's hop back into the remainder of the episode.
::Pat McCalla
What keeps you hopeful now?
::Tony Rodarte
Yeah. So my life has done a pretty much a 180 on where I'm at right now. And quite frankly, the hope that we're giving these first responders gives me hope. And if restored, my hope back in mankind. There are really good men and women that are out there, and we're blessed to be in a position where we can offer some support.
::Tony Rodarte
And that's really what keeps me going because, like I shared with you earlier, there's a lot of work. There's a lot of behind the scenes stuff, that involve the 500 and C3 and decisions that are made. But the direct impact that we're having
::Tony Rodarte
makes me smile and gives me hope.
::Pat McCalla
Yeah. For sure. Isn't that funny? I think that's how God works. A lot of times he doesn't show us all the details like he gave you and Melody a vision of something to start. But he did not say, let me show you how much work is going to go into this, because you probably would have been like, we're out.
::Tony Rodarte
No way.
::Tony Rodarte
Yeah, absolutely.
::Tony Rodarte
I
::Pat McCalla
think a lot of times in audience, you probably have stories too, where God gave you like, hey, go do this, and you stepped
::Tony Rodarte
into it, but
::Pat McCalla
no idea
::Tony Rodarte
Yeah.
::Tony Rodarte
Where it was going to
::Pat McCalla
take you. But when we look back on that, that's kind of what you're saying. Even though it's a difficult ride and there's there's times where you just want to throw in the towel.
::Pat McCalla
As you said earlier,
::Pat McCalla
you still look back and go like, what
::Tony Rodarte
Yeah, absolutely. Now. And we're in organizationally, we're only as good as our board of directors. So I want to just pause you and give them ultimate thanks because they allow us to do what we're doing and to find that money and to make these contacts. We have an amazing board of directors who truly value first responders and care deeply about our mission.
::Tony Rodarte
This is not Melody and Tony. This is a whole lot of people behind the scenes that care deeply about these these first responders out there.
::Pat McCalla
Well, and I say thank you to them, too. If they're listening to this. Thank you for
::Tony Rodarte
all. They will be listening. They don't know it yet, but they will be.
::Tony Rodarte
I say thank
::Pat McCalla
you to them too because again protecting our protectors is I'm all about that.
::Tony Rodarte
So yeah. What
::Pat McCalla
you're doing. So let's let's finish up and
::Tony Rodarte
having,
::Pat McCalla
Two truths and a lie I woke up this morning fully confident that I'm going to figure this out. You're going to give me three statements about yourself.
::Pat McCalla
Two will be true. One will be a lie. I got to try to guess the lie, and it's a fun way for our audience to get to know
::Tony Rodarte
Yeah, absolutely. So I was I was really hoping you were going to forget this. And looking at the time, are we okay to finish this or should we just cut it now?
::Tony Rodarte
Yeah. Let me at time. Okay.
::Tony Rodarte
My three that I'm going to share with you,
::Tony Rodarte
I was a, hostage negotiator for several years with the Maricopa County Sheriff's Office as part of my career.
::Tony Rodarte
I have hit.
::Tony Rodarte
Well, actually, I did a polar plunge in Antarctica on a cruise, and I have hit 49 out of 50 states. My quest to hit all 50.
::Pat McCalla
Okay, so, hostage negotiator, you did a polar plunge in Antarctica and 49 out of 50 states. All right, so, I'm going to try to narrow this down, I think. I think I know you did a polar plunge. You you guys are
::Pat McCalla
just avid travelers.
::Pat McCalla
I think you did the polar plunge in Antarctica. That's true.
::Tony Rodarte
That is false.
::Pat McCalla
Oh,
::Tony Rodarte
you are not really.
::Tony Rodarte
So that's on our bucket.
::Tony Rodarte
List and.
::Tony Rodarte
We will hit it. But we have not hit that one yet.
::Tony Rodarte
So
::Pat McCalla
I knew that the 49 and 50 states I was going to go that one. It was true as well because you guys travel so much. So that one is that one
::Tony Rodarte
Yes.
::Tony Rodarte
Yeah.
::Pat McCalla
49 what's the 50
::Tony Rodarte
North Dakota,
::Tony Rodarte
North Dakota.
::Tony Rodarte
So we travel a lot with the nonprofit. And then I also teach for the National Criminal Justice Training Center. So we're we fly all over the country for law enforcement courses. I just haven't hit North Dakota yet.
::Pat McCalla
just offended all the
::Tony Rodarte
North Dakota.
::Pat McCalla
I used to drive across North Dakota all the time growing
::Tony Rodarte
up. Yeah,
::Pat McCalla
western Montana. And I had grandparents in
::Tony Rodarte
Okay, okay. Drive every summer.
::Pat McCalla
And I remember thinking, when I was a kid, it was so ugly because I'm from the mountains.
::Pat McCalla
It was flat. But as an adult, I drove through there and it was like all the cornfields. And there's a beauty about it for
::Tony Rodarte
I just don't want to visit it in the winter.
::Pat McCalla
no, no,
::Tony Rodarte
In fact,
::Pat McCalla
one of my stories when we were driving across for Christmas, we stopped in Mile City, Montana, which is in eastern Montana, and it was abnormally warm. It was like 60 degree day.
::Pat McCalla
The next day we stopped in, Fargo, North Dakota, and it was 20 below
::Tony Rodarte
zero.
::Pat McCalla
So like an 80 degree
::Tony Rodarte
in 24 hours. So yeah. Yeah,
::Pat McCalla
Yeah. All right. Man, you got me. That's good, that's good. So you did not do a polar plunge, but that's on your bucket
::Tony Rodarte
Yeah.
::Tony Rodarte
Haven't done it yet but we'll hit it.
::Pat McCalla
can't wait to hear about it when you finally
::Tony Rodarte
do. Yeah. Absolutely. Tony.
::Pat McCalla
thank you so much for joining us again. Thank you for what Compassion Alliance is doing. And audience, please, please go support them.
::Tony Rodarte
Awesome. Thank you very much.
::Host
While Tony Rodarte reminded us of the importance of protecting those who protect us. If you are a first responder or you know one, we want to say thank you for the sacrifices you make day in and day out. This episode is a reminder to check in. Support one another. Be sure to send this episode to someone you love.
::Host
We'll see you next time on no gray areas.
